You may have heard of Gary Chapman’s book “5 Love Languages:” It argues there are five distinct ways people express and receive affection: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
Since I was young, the act of giving and receiving gifts has been a constant point of emphasis in my family. I was always taught to show gratitude through the act of gift-giving. Simply seeing my friends smile after I gave them a gift during Christmas always reassured me that the reciprocity in our friendship mattered to them, too. Here are four golden practices I’ve learned to follow.
- ) Good gift-givers plan their gifts in advance
Google Sheets is a great way to organize your recipients if you want to give gifts to multiple people. I’ve linked a template here, but you can always customize and create your own.
Put in all of your recipients’ details and plan accordingly so you won’t miss any deadlines! You can also mark down important due dates in your calendar if you’re forgetful like me.
2.) Good gift-givers observe before they buy
The hardest part of gift-giving is choosing what to give. To narrow down your search, try categorizing what your recipients might want into one of three types of gifts.
The first type is an item that upgrades your recipient’s current routines. These items not only pay out through their frequent use, but also show how you’ve noticed their daily life and hobbies. Some examples include a brand-new mechanical pencil for those who study a lot, sheet music for those who love playing an instrument or a just-right book for those bookworms.
The second type of item is a gift that can solve someone’s problems. Pay attention to the small complaints they make. If they’re always missing or turning in late homework, consider a desk organizer for filing loose papers and binders. If they’re severely dehydrated, buy them a high-quality reusable water bottle.
When in doubt, go for the third type: a consumable item. For the person who says they already have everything, look for high-end munchable snacks or nifty stationery. These gifts are guaranteed to be great options if you’re in a last-ditch effort to find something they’ll enjoy — even if it doesn’t last forever.
3.) Good gift-givers write cards along with their gifts
Actions speak louder than words, but what if you pair both?
Writing a card along with your gifts takes time, but it feels nice to receive a handwritten (yes, handwritten) card. To write meaningful cards, follow the typical essay structure: an intro, body paragraph and a conclusion.
Start with why you’re taking the time to write. You could be generic and greet your receiver as you would for emails and letters, but I always like starting with an anecdote encapsulating a shared moment with my receiver.
Second, make sure the body of the letter is concise. Keep in mind that a standard-sized card can feel as tiny as a Post-it note, so make your thoughts cohesive. Though you can write about how you found them tripping over banana peels funny, try to write about their impact on you as well. Talk about one moment or a quote they said that really stuck with you, and explain how that transformed your character.
If you can’t think of a moment like that, mention something your recipient shared recently and respond to it. For example, if your receiver said they were planning to try out for the badminton team, write that you hope they made the roster. Rinse and repeat until you reach your desired length of memory recall and reflection.
Lastly, conclude your letter with a thought for the future. Either say you hope you stay close friends, or wish them well as they work toward their goals. Both are great ways to tie back to how much you value your relationship.
4.) Good gift-givers package their gifts with elegance
Here comes the last (and best) part of the process — packaging and delivering your gift. There are two ways to package your gift: a box or a bag.
To choose between the two, look at the shape of the gift. Rigid or irregularly shaped gifts can awkwardly poke the inside of a bag, so a box is usually the better choice. Soft, flexible gifts tend to fit more comfortably in a bag.
I’ll demonstrate how to package both styles with my Jiji plushie (from “Kiki’s Delivery Service”).
For boxes, place your item inside a box that’s similar in size. Definitely don’t squeeze it into a box that’ll squish your gift. You can also add shredded paper inside as a cushion, but that’s totally optional.
Close the box and tape the openings shut before wrapping the gift neatly (and delicately!). If you don’t know how to wrap a gift, a guide from wikiHow is a good way to show you how. For brownie points, you can wrap a ribbon around it and tie a bow, but whenever I’m in a rush, I always like to use those prepackaged ones with adhesive on the back. Before you forget, tape your card to the wrapped box — and you’re done!
Bags are even easier than boxes because they take no wrapping at all. Simply place your gifts and card inside the bag and tuck tissue paper on top of the gift. You can also tie another bow on the side.
With a little planning, a thoughtful card and simple packaging, even the smallest gifts can become meaningful. After all, the best gifts are the ones that show how much you value the person receiving them.
