- “PASS THEM FORWARD NOOOOOOWWWW”
There’s always that one student jotting down last-minute thoughts on labs or homework quizzes, slowing down the process.
- “Who wants to flip?”
The coin flip is the most dreaded moment in every APES class because it decides whether we get an easier or harder version of the daily homework quiz. Unfortunately, probability wasn’t on my period’s side and we got five tails in a row.
- “Tissues are in the front in case you need to cry”
A classic Thomson quote before tests. Spoiler: no one ever uses them, except when someone really needs to blow their nose.
- “Why meee?”
A tired Thomson had just returned from the annual Costa Rica trip, jet-lagged and running on caffeine, when I greeted her with my third interview request. But please, Mrs. Thomson?? You know more about the trip than everyone else. And are you sure you don’t want to be featured in the Sept. 14 Falcon newsletter (the one that I’m running very late for)?
- “How did my chairs reproduce?”
After the chaos of moving around and sharing our children’s book projects, a mysterious third chair appeared at a front table. But wait … how come none of the other tables are missing a chair?
- “It’s funny!”
She sounds so disappointed that her voice is funnier than her jokes. And at this point, I’ve already gotten used to bad jokes from science teachers.
- “Give your partners the cold shoulder” and “Create a toxic environment”
No, sharing is not caring during daily homework quizzes.
- “Bite me, bite me, bite me”
According to Thomson, biology teacher Lisa Cochrum was extremely eager to get bitten by a leech while on a vacation with her, and to this day, I still can’t get Thomson’s unhinged imitation of Cochrum’s voice out of my head. The more she tells us these stories in class, the more I feel like they should start their own comedy show.
- “LEECH LADY IS SCARED OF HOLDING A BABY MONKEY?!?!”
At this point, I really can’t tell if she and Cochrum are good friends or just love roasting each other in front of their students. But hey, at least it keeps the whole class wide awake and entertained.
- “I’m usually very calm. Right, Mona?”
Umm yeah, I guess? As a former Thomson biology student, I can toooootally testify that …
