We’re winners of the friendship lottery.
Five weeks ago, we set out to find our Myers-Brigg Type Indicator, a psychometric quiz dividing people into 16 types of personality. Ruiyan was categorized as an INFJ — Introverted, Intuition, Feeling, Judging and Grace was found to be an ENFJ — Extroverted, Intuition, Feeling, Judging. Both personality types share deep values.
All of this compatibility came inadvertently. In fact, it’s our fifth year as friends, and we just discovered how well our personalities match. So how did we find this piece of genuine friendship?
Like many, our friendship first began to bud in classrooms and school gyms before taking its baby steps outside Saratoga High. Like many, our friendship wasn’t immediate, but rather woven slowly into our teenage experiences.
Our first impression of each other took place in eighth grade English class: Grace warmly told a hard-pressed Ruiyan to not worry about an upcoming Geometry test. In freshman year, Ruiyan comforted a nervous Grace about her volleyball tryout results (spoiler: She made the team).
It’s difficult to figure out how we ended up sharing so many moments together: being crowned as “Dynamic Duos” in journalism, meeting volunteers across the globe on Google Meet calls, suffering through Chemistry Honors practice sets, unboxing albums and trying new cafes together.
We grew much closer starting in junior year, when we cofounded Art4Hearts, a club at SHS and an organization we’ve developed outside of school as well. While we’re truly one of many in the school community where friendships move out of a classroom, we find Art4Hearts as the unique experience connecting us.
Together, we’ve faced challenges ranging from filing paperwork as a 501(c)3 to managing a growing team of students across the nation. Despite the constant decision-making and responsibility, our partnership remained smooth and conflict-free. Art4Hearts has grown by leaps and bounds since junior year, and though we put in countless hours of hard work and FaceTime calls, maybe we can attribute its success from the luck of finding the right co-presidents from the start.
As we’re reaching adulthood, the meaning of friendship has evolved from simple middle school companions to something more encompassing, dynamic and intangible.
Human connection as intertwined and warm as ours feels incredibly hard to come by — so many of the friendships we have now are the fruits of half a decade of effort. As we move beyond our high school campus to metropolitan cities, the notion of establishing new friendships seems insurmountable.
Perhaps finding a true friendship requires us to be true to ourselves first authenticity and vulnerability are key ingredients in the recipe. For example, Ruiyan confided in Grace about her greatest insecurities, and Grace presented her genuine self in every conversation we shared.
Thinking retrospectively, our ability to mesh in terms of personality has allowed us to compliment the other’s strengths and weaknesses. We process the world in many similar ways and can reserve much-needed space for each other.
That’s not to say people should find their personality match before friendships form — having an MBTI match isn’t a shortcut to instant friendship and glitter galore. Instead, we both hope other friends in our class will do the same as us and continue growing those relationships one FaceTime call at a time.
