Courtesy of Jennifer Mantle
Mantle’s bitmoji figure always greets you with a wave when you click into her Canvas homepage.- “Unit 4 is where we turn ourselves into graphing calculators”
Unfortunately, it only takes a single graphing problem, which involves the application of derivatives, and a page of algebra to realize you’re a snail compared to a TI-84.
- “No, not you, Siri”
Ah yes. Siri, always at your assistance, even when it’s time to learn about series — not Siri — in calculus.
- “Oh, we have to use the order of operations correctly, Mrs. Mantle”
For some unexplainable reason, learning advanced math always makes people lose their ability to perform basic operations. Having a PEMDAS-left-the-chat moment is not out of the ordinary for those who are learning calculus.
- (To the projector) “Can you focus?!”
You know it’s bad when even classroom technology refuses to pay attention…
- “Oh my gosh what is wrong with me today?! It’s Friday I wanna go home”
So do we, Mrs. Mantle. Most of us didn’t even notice your silly mistake because staying awake is hard enough on its own.
- “I have a cat who wakes me up daily at 6 a.m. for food, so sometimes I get a little sleep deprived because he’s a piggy”
As a guinea pig owner, I can confirm pets make excellent alarm clocks … if you like clocks that go off at the worst times. Why didn’t the MOSAIC lesson on the importance of sleep teach us how to handle loud, demanding animals that are chronically hungry?
- “Therefore, the region we’re looking at is just this little banana”
She then proceeded to fill that crescent shape between the curves with yellow highlighter. I’m mildly surprised that math can be so closely related to food.
- “Good morning, I don’t know what day it is”
At this point, who doesn’t get discombobulated after a random Veteran’s Day break in the middle of the week?
- “It could be f of smiley face d smiley face”
Not gonna lie, f(☺)d☺ does look more appealing than f(x)dx. I mean, if variable names don’t matter in calculus, might as well promote positivity in a subject so widely feared.
- “You’re not gonna say, ‘Hey you, I’m gonna assign you to take a drug’”
Don’t panic! Mantle was just explaining why randomized trials can be unethical. That said, it is definitely one of the worst quotes out of context.
