We hate astrology

Photo by JoAnn Zhang

“Oh my god, are you a Pisces? The horoscope for today says that you’ll lose something important. Here, let me get my incense. What’s your rising sign? And your birth date?”

Don’t feel bad if you didn’t understand a word of the above spiel; few would be able to decipher the word-vomit going on there. And that’s exactly what astrology is: incomprehensible puke. 

Astrology, at its core, is nothing more than a method for people to stop making decisions for themselves and to instead attach their beliefs to fake cosmic entities. The unasked-for advice, the “Oh, you’re a Scorpio? You must be very manipulative” comments, the preconceived judgments — astrology is nothing more than an irritating scam, relying on individual interpretation of vague references; it more often reflects subconscious desires and beliefs than the moon’s good favor on Arieses on a given day. 

Let’s look at an example: The Sagittarius Daily Horoscope for Monday, Sept. 20, stated that “owing to the transit of the Moon in Pisces, you may finally find answers to problems that may have been troubling you for quite some time now.” 

The prediction this horoscope provides is vague enough to be technically accurate in a number of different scenarios. Does this mean I’m going to finally figure out No. 20 on my Physics homework? Maybe I’ll find a way to cut off that one annoying friend? Who knows? 

An avid astrology fan chooses one specific interpretation of any given prediction because they want it to be true, not necessarily because it is true. Encouraged by this horoscope, they might finally change their mindset and sit down to grind out No. 20 on the homework instead of putting it off. Or perhaps, believing the stars are with them today, they might tell their clingy friend to leave them alone and block them on every social media platform. This individual didn’t do these things because astrology somehow predetermined it — they made these decisions because they inherently wanted to do so, and astrology gave them that added confidence boost. 

Making decisions can be difficult, and at some point, it can feel easier to attribute this decision-making to some random cosmic entity, rather than accept that you are responsible for your own decisions, actions and personalities. Astrology becomes the scapegoat for a person’s own will and action in the world, justifying at random a person’s life decisions. 

The Moon and planets are rocks in space — they don’t concern themselves with finding answers to human questions. Yes, the Moon has gravity, and yes, it orbits in cycles around Earth. However, those cycles aren’t going to help you decide when to prepare for the one SAT test you keep putting off. 

Astrology can be a fun activity: something to laugh at with friends or to confirm your subconscious beliefs. But please, stop taking it seriously and believing that your life depends on planets that couldn’t care less about what you’re doing. Because let’s be honest — you determine your own actions, and it’s time to own up to that.