Top 10: Ways to get out of MOSAIC

September 12, 2023 — by Sarah Zhou
Graphic by Leyna Chan
The dates we all dread to see on our calendars…
Use these tips at your own risk.

10. Hope for yet another firm alarm.

Even though we had a fire drill followed by an actual fire evacuation the next day earlier this semester, I still feel that we, as Falcons, would benefit more from practicing standing in a single formation on the field than from additional Mindful Moments. 

9. Gaslight your teacher into thinking MOSAIC got canceled. 

Your email from the admin says to present this slideshow? Strange! My second-period teacher said they moved it to next week — maybe they forgot to email you the update.

8. I have a doctor’s appointment. 

My horoscope told me I might have appendicitis … I need to go to the Wellness Center to check it out.

7. My geriatric family member fell down the stairs.

But don’t worry, I’ll be sure to do the meditation and breathing techniques for de-stressing that I learned in past MOSAIC lessons to get me through these trying times.

6. After “heavily concentrating” during today’s MOSAIC topic, I’ve developed a migraine and need to go to the Wellness Center.

You wouldn’t even need to lie for this one.

5. Just don’t give a reason. 

No means no. Nobody needs to be nosing their way into your private life anyway!

4. I tested positive for COVID-19.

Thank you to the school for handing out those expired tests because now we can finally diagnose ourselves properly.

3. I got pulled over on my way to school.

Being late, or even worse — missing MOSAIC — is my worst nightmare, so I went a little fast … the cops staked out by Safeway got to me 😞.

2. Just leave and call the office to excuse your absence by impersonating your parents with a bad accent.

Bonus points if you accidentally drop the accent midway through and get called in by admin.

1. “I’m not feeling socially emotionally appropriate or relevant enough to be here today.”

I need my ME time.

Tags: mosaic, Top 10
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