Rants

December 7, 2020 — by Amanda Zhu and Stephanie Sun
Screen Shot 2020-12-07 at 10

Stop buying real Christmas trees

Imagine waking up on Christmas morning and sprinting downstairs to open your presents. But you’re greeted by the Christmas tree. And it’s on fire.

If you purchase a real tree, this scenario could very much become a reality. Obviously, trees are flammable. So why would anyone take the risk and string lights on one?

If you like real trees for the scent, just add a pine scent stick on your artificial tree. It’ll smell identical (if not better) to a real one.

Another reason artificial trees are superior: They can be used for decades. Once you find the perfect tree that exactly matches your expectations (which is much easier when the tree is built by humans instead of Mother Nature), you’re basically set for life. 

Artificial trees require no maintenance, and you and your family can decorate the tree without worrying about finding a nest of bugs. 

Still, if you end up buying a real tree and your house becomes infested with bugs or your tree catches fire, I hate to say I told you so, but … I told you so.

 

Candy canes are for suckers (literally)

Candy canes are the candy corn of Christmas. Oddly shaped, sickeningly sweet and just plain bad. 

Don’t get me wrong, they can look aesthetically pleasing on Christmas trees. But that doesn’t excuse the utter inconvenience of eating one. 

 For starters, it’s basically impossible to take one out of its wrapper without snapping it in half. After that excruciating process, they just become sticky messes that take ages to eat. Seriously, when’s the last time you saw someone finish a candy cane?

And let’s not forget the horrible feeling of accidentally poking your tongue when they get all sharp at the ends. Someone needs to explain why anyone would willingly snack on a sugary spear. 

So to any hardcore candy cane lovers out there, please reconsider your decisions this holiday season. 

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