If Hillary wins

October 18, 2016 — by Andrew Owens

Hillary poses threat to U.S.

To examine the months of the Clinton administration’s challenges, we must look back to the beginning.

Hillary Clinton won by using the innovative new tactic of cuztomizing her positions for each American.

Looking at this week’s opinion polls, perhaps it would have been better for the Democratic Party if Clinton had lost.

Soon after Inauguration Day, Clinton hit her first major problem. She again referred to the Trans Pacific Partnership as the “gold standard” of trade deals. Denying she was ever against it, Clinton said, “I did not have negative relations with that trade deal.”

Another scandal that plagued the Clintons on the campaign trail soon reared its ugly head. The Clinton Foundation was again attacked as a slush fund for the Clintons. This time the money was coming from one Donald J. Trump, who apparently went back to buying influence after a disastrous electoral defeat.

And much like Kim Jong Un’s disappearance in 2014, in the early months of the Clinton administration, the president often went unseen. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, with a look of disbelief on his face, was overheard asking a colleague, “Is she actually hiding? Can the president even do that?”

Clinton insiders insisted that she was simply working hard and happy to have reached the presidency. But leaked clips emerged purporting that large amounts of coughing could be heard from inside the Oval Office.

Clinton has had problems dealing with her husband too. He has reportedly been found sitting in the Situation Room getting reports from generals and cabinet members. Members of the Marine Corps Band have anonymously told reporters that the former president often stands when “Hail to the Chief” is played for his wife.

Adding to Clinton’s troubles has been the machinations in the nation’s highest court. Even after Ruth Bader Ginsburg retired in 2017, the Republican Senate majority continued to stonewall appointments to the now seven-person Supreme Court.

The left wing of her party was also critical of the newly elected President. Sen. Elizabeth Warren expressed her distaste with the continued practice of appointing large donors to ambassadorships.

“I know Kendall Jenner is tuned into the Italian fashion industry,” Warren said in a recent interview with Anderson Cooper, “but I don’t believe she is qualified to represent our nation in Rome.”

Clinton has also been criticized for desperately trying to fit in with young people and minorities.

She was recently seen at Cedar Rapids High School “just chillin’,” while also posting her latest tweet in emojis.

Perhaps worst of all, the promised economic recovery failed to materialize. Along with the collapse of the oil industry caused by OPEC policies, experts blame the misguided deletion of Gmail for causing a downturn in the tech industry.

These factors make likely a disastrous 2018 midterm election. If 2018 could be a worse year for Congressional Democrats than even 2010, when the Tea Party surge carried many Republicans to victory.  

It is a great irony that the party that won an unprecedented third term is now on track for electoral disaster. “Crooked Hillary” won the battle but lost the war.