I don’t want to spend my life running after time

March 7, 2017 — by Sanjana Melkote

Sophomore reflects on 15 years of her life. 

I have spent the last 15 years of my life being late. I was born late in the day, learned to walk later than any healthy child should, got my braces off later than all my friends and even wrote this story 10 days later than the deadline.

I am the last person to write about where I see myself in the next 10 years because I can’t even think beyond what was due yesterday in my classes.

I don’t know what I want to pursue as a career or when I want to get married. I don’t even feel sure of my course selections for next year.

But today I can make a goal for myself, that I really hope I will have accomplished by the time I’m 25.

In 10 years, I would much rather live, soaking up every moment instead of missing all the important ones thanks to my habitual tardiness.

I don’t want to wake up for my 9 a.m. dance class at 9 a.m. I don’t want to leave for school so late that I can only make it in time if I get dropped off at an illegal bus stop. In fact, I don’t even want to go to school, let alone get dropped off at school, in 10 years.

I want to be the kind of person who solves a tough math problem the same day I couldn’t understand it, instead of memorizing the exact approach right before the test.

Instead of waiting until the show day to perfect every move, I want to be the dancer who performs in class like they were on stage.

As my life moves forward, I want to stop racing with deadlines and final grades, which as of right now motivate my  accomplishments.

Instead of cramming because I have a test, I want to learn out of curiosity. I want to dance because I love to dance, not because of a future performance.

I want to drive the change in my life.

I don’t want to spend my life trying to catch up with time. I want to be ahead of it, use it and seize it.

My goals and aspirations will change with the day, every new thought igniting a different dream, but my only hope is that I use the time between now and 2027 to make those dreams, whatever they may be, come true.

 

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