How to soft reject someone you still want as a backup

February 1, 2020 — by Justin Guo and Amanda Zhu

Someone asked you to be in a relationship with them! What do you do? Here’s our template for a direct and concise letter that you can to them.

Dear ____,

 

Thank you for your respectful efforts to make time for me and become one of my closest friends. Your surprisingly delightful proposal of entering a relationship caught me off guard the other day; after much thought and deliberation, I have decided that I will be promptly rejecting you from my “Never Date This Person” file of potential love interests.

 

That is to say, it is my full intention to engage in a romantic relationship with you, with the understanding that it will be solely  on a friendly basis.

We could Netflix and chill together.

In your freezer, because it’s probably still warmer than your heart, which is made of ice.

Since you’re so smooth and cool, and just like ice, I melt in your warm presence.

Because you’re also so hot.

Hot-headed, egotistical, irresponsible and fundamentally flawed as a person, that is.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon, 

Kneeling outside my house, pleading for me to take you back.

To that fancy restaurant because you really liked eating their steak,

Alone, in the corner, as you watched me dine with one of your friends.

Who was consoling me about my fears of your unrequited love.
When I’m around you, I can’t help but be happy; I’d like to always keep you near me, in that zone.

That is, the friend zone.

Which is, of course, an area close to me where we can talk and have fun together.

I don’t know how much you think about me, but I’ve been thinking about you for a long time and about how long I’ve been waiting to meet up with you.

Because you owe me the 55 cents it cost to buy a stamp for this letter.

And, of course, so we can also schedule a date.

To meet and finish our group APUSH project.

However, I would also enjoy a one-on-one date with you,

As I need help deciding on someone else to love, because you are the perfect embodiment of a person …

That I wouldn’t prefer …

To be in a strictly friendly relationship with …

As it would be foolish to disregard our professional relationship as well.

 

Congratulations!

 

Apologetically,

______