Formal date culture is isolating and stressful

After a year and a half of lonely, virtual events, it’s no wonder students are excited that Winter Formal is back and slated for Dec. 4 at Gilroy Gardens. 

With all the good food and fun dancing, however, comes the never-ending saga of formal dates. 

Even months before the dance, the question, “who are you taking to formally?” becomes a burden for many of us. For some, conversations about dates, relationships and formal drama are practically a daily occurrence.

Given the large role this night plays in school culture, it’s no surprise that some students take the matter of dates extremely seriously. However, this often leads to other students feeling pressured to find a date to formal, asking someone who they don’t know very well instead of just going alone or with a group of friends

The truth is, formal dances shouldn’t revolve around finding a date or the desperation to do so — instead, students should spend the evening with people they would have the most fun with, whether that’s a special individual or a group of close friends.

While there’s nothing wrong with taking somebody to the dance and spending most of your time with them, you shouldn’t ask someone just to say you have a date; they should be someone who you can talk to for hours without growing bored.

If a friend like this isn’t available, there is no reason to scout out other people for the sole reason of having a date. Dates should be genuine with both people enjoying the other’s company, with no added social pressure. Attempting to befriend someone just for a formal date will not build a stable relationship that will last long after the dance.

Not to mention, forcing yourself to find a date to not avoid appearing “lonely” is stressful. With couples constantly emerging, it’s easy to forget that all relationships develop at their own rate and shouldn’t be compared to others. Even if a friend isn’t available as a date, there’s no reason to stress out about it.

In fact, developing a romantic relationship isn’t even necessary to have a good time at formal. Taking somebody with whom you have a platonic friendship is perfectly acceptable, and can lead to an equally, if not more enjoyable night.

Going with friends or alone are both viable options to have a good time, which is what the spirit of formal should be about in the first place.