1 mile, 2 runners, 4 Chipotle Bowls, many regrets.

Photo by Mitchell Chen

Seniors Mitchell Chen and George Hu finally finished their Chipotle bowls before heading to class.

15:36.  

That is the world record for running a mile while eating a Chipotle Bowl every lap around the track. It is held by Jack Flood, a professional decathlete and someone with a stomach apparently made of iron. We tried to be clever and beat his world record with two people. 

Since each of us had to run only two laps and eat two Chipotle Bowls, we thought it would be a breeze. 

The day before the momentous event, we bought four Chipotle Bowls, all with white rice, chicken, tomato salsa, corn, cheese and lettuce. 

We chose a simple relay strategy: One of us would first run a lap and then scarf down a bowl, and once they finished the bowl, the second runner would take off. By alternating runners, we were confident we would easily beat come in under 15:36. 

Boy, were we wrong. 

George came in from his first lap, still huffing and puffing, but he channeled his inner Matt Stonie (a famous competitive eater) as he tried to eat a plate heavy on protein, simultaneously shoveling mouthfuls of rice and chicken and trying not to gag as he struggled to catch his breath. It took him 8:21 to complete the lap and the first bowl.

Soon, another unexpected obstacle hit. While the rice wasn’t too bad, the chicken got to us. Halfway through the first bowl, we both started to experience cramps as all the protein started churning inside our stomach. Our relay strategy helped, but not by much — after each of us had our first bowl, the time was already 15:34. At this point the goal was no longer to break the record. We just wanted to complete the challenge. 

As we prepared ourselves to run the next lap, our next — and by far, our worst — challenge hit: We did not have nearly enough time to rest. 

Mitchell staggered along and after walking, jogging and regretting his life choices for 10 minutes, he finished the last lap of the challenge at 23:45. Opening his last bowl, he gagged at the sight of the salsa drenched rice and chicken. 

The second half of the challenge we considered throwing in the towel. Since we were doing this during a red-day tutorial, the idea of sitting in class with meat sweats (too much sweating when eating a high amount of protein in a short period of time) did not sound pleasant. Even though we did not beat the record, we did not give up. We pushed on. Bite after bite, we devoured every last piece of chicken and salsa.

Our lesson? To anyone who thinks they can complete a Chipotle mile, please don’t.

 Our total time: 30:23. 

Reflecting upon this challenge, we concluded it was not worth the $40 worth of food, much less the hours spent on the toilet afterwards.