Disclaimer: We are not responsible if your crush never speaks to you again because of these bad boys.

10. Are you this top 10? Because I think about you all day and all night.

Who said we’re not funny? 

9. Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

The Santa Clara Fire Department can thank us later. Fire Safety is no joke.

8. Did you fart? Because you blew me away.

Chivalry isn’t dead. Use this one with caution — only a handful of delightful people enjoy having their inner scents being analyzed.

7. Hey, my name’s Microsoft, can I crash at your place?

The only line Saratoga’s future computer science majors could possibly pull off. 

6. It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.

Don’t say this in the children’s section of the library (unless you’re a senior guy).

5. You must be made of cheese. Because you’re looking Gouda tonight!

The perfect line for our charcuterie board date under the bleachers.

4. Excuse me, is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!

Is it just us or is it getting hot in here? We are so naugh-tea!

3. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.

If we’re both bad drivers, we would make the perfect match on @saratogabadparking.

2. Are you crusty toenails? Because I’m attached to you.

This is your reminder to brush up on that foot hygiene! Athlete’s foot can impact anyone.

1. Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin-g my hopes for a [hug] right about now.

Telling your crush they look wrinkly, dehydrated and like the worst item in trail mix is a sure way to their heart… or the door. Cross your fingers and pray it’s the former before you open your mouth.