Everytime I walk anywhere in the Bay Area, I seem to be accosted with a triggering sight: hordes of people, mostly teens and young adults, lugging around multicolored water bottles plastered with stickers and featuring a human-like figure. I am, of course, talking about Hydro Flasks — overpriced, flashy and also something I desperately wish I had.

I can’t explain why. I’m probably not responsible enough to own a Hydro Flask — I lost three water bottles last year alone, and I always have trouble keeping track of my belongings. And I wouldn’t exactly take good care of it either. One water bottle I own has so many dents in it that it physically won’t stand upright on a desk.

It’s safe to say that my owning a Hydro Flask would be equivalent to putting money in a paper shredder.

Maybe it’s the wannabe hypebeast in me. Hydro Flasks are kind of the Supreme of water bottles, even though I know I’m not justified in paying $50 for a water bottle (or $300 for a white T-shirt).

Or maybe it’s my inner artsy hipster. Yes, I could get a plain metal water bottle for $10 at Costco, but why do that when I could get the special-edition-only-sold-at-select-stores-sunset- colored Hydro that I can turn into a mini collage of stickers?

Not that my parents actually care about my water bottle wish list. I can almost hear my dad demanding to know what the point of a Hydro Flask is. Why spend $50 on a liquid container when you can buy three highly functional Contigo water bottles for that price? Or better yet, why not just use the water bottles he gets for free from work events? They can hold liquid perfectly too.

But they don’t understand me. They don’t understand my struggle. Imagine how hard it is to wake up knowing all your friends can carry their Hydros with pride. That they can walk around, unashamed of their water bottles. Imagine being the girl who has to take her scratched up, dented, sad excuse for a bottle to school. Whose bottle doesn’t even have vacuum insulated stainless steel double walls made of BPA and lead free material. Whose bottle doesn’t come in seven different sizes and about a thousand different colors. Are you crying yet?

And how am I supposed to let the world know what my personality is if I don’t own a Hydro Flask covered in cool and quirky stickers?

What my parents don’t understand is the point of a water bottle isn’t to hold water. It’s to flex on everyone. It’s to assert your water bottle dominance in the high school social hierarchy.

Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do. For now, I’ll have to drink from a free Cisco water bottle and watch enviously as Hydro Flask owners delicately sip what appears to be holy water. Because, given their high price and unattainability, that’s probably the only thing Hydro Flasks are worthy of containing.