When baking cookies, it is a good idea to put a few testers in the oven to predict how the batch will turn out. If the cookies are too puffy, flatten them out. If they are too flat, lower the temperature or add some more baking powder or baking soda to lift them up a little more. Maybe let the cookies chill in the fridge a little bit until they get that perfect crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside texture that melts in your mouth.

This same concept goes for children.

The first one, the oldest, is like that tester cookie. They venture out into the world with a half-baked plan, trying to figure out which classes to take, how to navigate the social scene and how to apply for colleges. Every experience is new and unknown.

The next child, however, has it easier. They already know from their older sibling which classes are beneficial, how to make new friends, how to get the most food for the smallest price and other useful life hacks that the older sibling relays back to them.

Younger siblings are seen as the “babies” of the family. Parents are often worn out by the stress of handling the first child, so the younger gets the path of least resistance. While the first child has to fulfill all the parent’s hopes, every following child just fills the occasional gap here and there for the parents’ diminished expectations.

For example, the first child is expected to leave for school 20 minutes early, so that they can not only come before the first bell, but have 10-15 minutes to socialize with their friends. By the second child, leaving the house before the first bell rings is rare. Socializing can be saved for all the detentions they rack up.

Being the youngest child means getting to learn from the older child’s mistakes. It means that all the supplies are laid out, ready to be used after the first child assembled them. A younger child gets the opportunity to follow their own path rather than the one laid out by their parents.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” With the feedback from the first batch, subsequent batches of cookies are ready to handle to heat of the oven.