Around prom season, tutorials and lunches become the hotspot for girls and guys to ambush one another with flowers and posters. Prom askings begin to consume every second of free time, and artistic people are bombarded with up to 20 requests to create prom asking posters and help with the creative planning process.

Although this may seem like a cute “surprise,” outsiders might be shocked to find out that there is a step before prom askings, commonly known as “soft-askings.” Basically, none of these “askings” are actually a surprise and are only done as a societal expectation. Even though some boys enjoy askings and go all out in planning them, the majority slack off and push their responsibilities off to friends of the person being asked.

Hilariously, people will have already bought tickets to the dance, their outfits, and have told everyone about their plans before the asking. And that begs the question: What is this all for?

Girls who receive flowers and posters do not especially treasure these items; although it is a nice gesture to put in effort to ask someone, dance askings take much more effort than they’re worth.

After all the time, effort and money spent on posters and materials, girls just end up throwing them away or keeping them stored in their closet.

In fact, many girls do not want a public asking in the first place but feel like if they don’t get one, they’ll be left out. Most often, the boys don’t even ask to make a girl happy, but feel pressured to do a “special” asking just so they can get likes on Facebook and increase their chances at winning free tickets.

A double-asking is not necessary, so guys should decide whether to ask in private or in public, not both.