We’ve all heard the stories. After three long years of high school and six months of never-ending college applications, seniors reach the promised glory days of their last semester. Senior year law dictates that life becomes a lazy, hazy golden series of months where we can coast the relaxed wave until graduation.
Classes are the last thing on our mind. Homework is optional. For us, it’s our chance to truly enjoy the last of our last wisps of childhood before we go off to college and adulthood.
This moment has always been a long time coming — a reckoning that no one could stop. So why, why, am I not feeling any senioritis?
After turning in my last last scholarship essay, I had sat back with a content smile. The hard part was over. Now, it was time to reap the rewards of my hard labor.
Instead, I cracked open my AP Lang binder and worked for the next two hours.
I remember thinking to myself: “It’s not like the senioritis will kick in immediately. Just give it time. It’ll come.”
But recently, the perfect opportunity to indulge in some second-semester senior year benefits presented itself. The weather was perfect, and I had no tests or quizzes. It was, in other words, the perfect time to cut class and go to the beach with friends, not sit for 85 minutes in a lecture!
But then . . .
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t fight the habits that had been ingrained in me since kindergarten. I traded an epic beach day for classes and hours of mindless note-taking.
So, I’ve found myself in a predicament. I want the second-semester devil-may-care attitude that was promised to me, but it’s difficult to let go of what’s so familiar.
Upon further reflection, maybe the real reason I’m not feeling senioritis is that I’m not willing to admit to myself that this is my final year as a highschooler. My final year as a kid. This May, I become an adult, and next fall, I’m moving on from the familiar and that’s a scary feeling.
But that’s the beauty of growing up: We have the opportunity to experience new things while simultaneously being a product of our past. All the lessons I’ve learned and experiences I’ve had for the past 17 years make me who I am today. The people I’ve become friends with, the teachers I’ve learned from — these experiences are ones I wouldn’t trade for the world. But I shouldn’t keep holding onto my younger self; I should focus on the present and look toward the future.
So, finally having reached my second-semester senior status, I am determined to enjoy all the benefits it entails. The golden glory days are indeed here, even if they might be different than what my younger self imagined. Instead of trying to fulfill a once-coveted dream, I look forward to taking this time as it comes, whether it’s skipping school — or staying in class.
