For all our hopelessly single SHS students, we’re capitalizing on the greatest source of dating experience on-campus — people who teach us how to find chemistry, dance to our own tunes and find integral traits we want in a partner all while writing our own stories — our teachers.
We interviewed five teachers on the “do”s and “don’t”s of first dates — and they gave us some great advice, accompanied with some personal experiences to corroborate their claims.
Whether their first dates were trainwrecks or the start of a long and happy marriage, our teachers have plenty of advice to offer, and we hope you’ll learn as much as we did.
Physics Teacher Thomas Casavant: Pace yourself
Falcon: What is some advice you have for going on a first date?
Casavant: Oh my god. You are definitely talking to the wrong person. Anyone in this [physics classroom] would be better than me.
Falcon: But do you have advice on two things to do and two things to absolutely not do?
Casavant: I’m trying to look for the right word, but to be kind or be understanding — to be empathetic.
Falcon: And what should you absolutely not do?
Casavant: I would say don’t try to over impress.
Falcon: Do you have any experiences that were either really great or complete train wrecks?
Casavant: This is embarrassing — so in high school, I remember the one time when I had a first date with a girl and I turned her face to me so I could kiss her, and she said: “What?” So I was like: “Okay, I think we’re done here.” And I just remember the whole world kind of crashing at that point. And then I kind of slid away. So yeah, that was a pretty embarrassing situation.
Falcon: Was this a first date? Or just a hangout?
Casavant: Well, that’s a good question — that probably depends on who you ask. I thought it was a first date. That’s a good [piece of advice] then: Don’t necessarily assume too much.
Math Teacher PJ Yim: Be genuine about your character to find your “old shoe”
Falcon: What would you say to absolutely do on a first date?
Yim: To do? Show the worst side of yourself.
Falcon: And the reasoning?
Yim: Well, the thing is, if she still likes you after seeing the worst, then she’s a keeper.
Falcon: And anything absolutely not to do?
Yim: Don’t show the best side of yourself. Do you know why? Because that’s false advertisement. You’re at your best like 1% of the time.
Falcon: What about your average self?
Yim: So that’s what I do. [What I said before about showing the worst side of myself is] a lie: I didn’t show the worst side of myself; I just behaved as normal. What I would never do is show the best of myself — go out of my way, because it gives a false impression.
Falcon: Do you have any experiences with first dates — any trainwreck experiences?
Yim: If it’s a bad thing, there’s one case where I got set up. I couldn’t stand her because she was like a sack of potatoes — while everybody else is helping out, doing the dishes, she just [sits] there … She just sat there like a little princess. One thing: I don’t date princesses. I try to treat them like one, but if they act like one, then … But I felt obligated to just continue to go out and meet her because we were set up. That’s one of the worst things about being set up.
Falcon: What year was this? High school? College?
Yim: [My] early 20’s? But other than that, I always had good experiences with people because I didn’t think about dates seriously; to me it’s a hangout. I just treat it as I’m getting to know somebody so I don’t put any expectations on them or me … But you know what the best thing is? I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m married.
Falcon: How long has it been that you haven’t had to worry about first dates?
Yim: Since 2001.
Falcon: Would you say that with your wife, you hit it off instantly or afterwards?
Yim: You know, the funny thing is, it was instant. As soon as she walked in the door: ‘Yup, we’re done.’
Falcon: How did you know?
Yim: I don’t know, I just felt it.
Falcon: How long did you guys date?
Yim: Three days.
Falcon: Until you guys got engaged?
Yim: Three days and she left Korea. We talked over the phone for a little bit and I said, “Let’s get married.” She said, “Really?” And I told her, “If you don’t know it, you’re too young for me. I’ll move on.” And she’s like, “No, no, no, hold on.” I said it again and she said yes.
Falcon: That’s very impressive.
Yim: No, she felt like an old shoe. [Awkward silence.] Okay, always pick the positive thing. What’s so good about old shoes?
Falcon: They’re reliable?
Falcon: They’re warm?
Yim: The fact that they’re old shoes and you’re still wearing this pair — they must be really comfortable. I felt this comfort with her that I never had with anybody else. I just felt comfortable — that was it. I didn’t have to try, she didn’t have to try; we were just comfortable with each other.
Math Teacher Lisa Ginestet-Araki: how to ensure a successful first date
Falcon: What are three “do”s or “don’t”s for a first date?
Ginestet-Araki: I would say one thing to not do would be to make the first date on Valentine’s Day. That’s a lot of pressure. I would also say don’t give an extravagant gift too early, or don’t have a first date that’s too expensive or fancy. Make the first date in a public place, so everyone is comfortable. I’d also say pick a first date where you can actually talk to them — not like a movie where you can’t talk.
Falcon: Do you have any experiences that were complete and horrible and train wrecks from first dates?
Ginestet-Araki: I went on a first date, where the guy played in this adult Hockey League, and he asked me to come watch him play his adult hockey game. So like a big chunk of it was just me watching him do something and not actually talking to him. So that was a little weird.
English Teacher Erick Rector – laughter is the indicator
Falcon: Do you have any advice for a first date?
Rector: Have fun, have fun. You can usually tell within like five minutes whether or not a date has potential or not. So if you don’t laugh at them within the first five minutes, the date’s not going anywhere.
Falcon: How do you get through those awkward dates to let them down easy?
Rector: Be honest. You say, “This is really fun, but I just don’t feel an X factor spark and so I don’t think this is gonna work.” And sometimes two really cool people just don’t have a spark — which is fine — so you’ve just successfully eliminated someone who [is not meant for you].
English Teacher Megan Laws: Be clear that it’s a date
Falcon: So what is your advice for going on a date?
Laws: I met my husband in high school, so it’s been a long time since I’ve been on an actual date. I remember in high school, one time I went to play Ultimate Frisbee with someone and I didn’t know it was a date. So make sure that people are clear about whether it’s a date. The guy had different expectations and wanted something more and I was like, nope. Also, don’t chew with your mouth open.
Music teachers Sean Clark and Micheal Boitz: Just don’t
Falcon: We are asking teachers on campus what is some advice for do’s and don’ts on dates and we are wondering what is yours?
Clark: Don’t. You can write it in quotes, “said by Sean Clark,” with a period.
Boitz: You know, if you want to get a lot of dates or a lot of interest, be Sean Clark.
Clark: [proceeds to ignore Boitz.] Don’t. Just don’t go on a date.
Falcon: Why just no? So you don’t have any actual advice for dos and don’ts?
Clark: What do you mean “that’s not the actual advice.” Don’t. Don’t go on a date.
