Purpose is overrated. The idea that everyone has to be significant, find a meaning, leave their mark in history or change the world is an overrated and damaging idea.
So . . . if I could go back and relive a day, I would just choose any random day from my childhood. Preferably, I’d relive the days of third grade: Having just moved from China, I marveled at the new environment and the new friends I’d made.
Of course, I’ve definitely had a few regrets, but even if I went back, I really wouldn’t know what I’d have done differently. I wouldn’t return to my childhood to undo my mistakes. So I would like to go back and relive any carefree day as an 8-year-old with nothing to stress about.
Now caught in the complete tornado of junior year with tests and quizzes haunting every corner of my schedule, homework grinds until 2 a.m. and a never-ending to-do list, I would really just like a day to do nothing.
A typical day would involve reading iconic elementary classic books such as ”Rainbow Magic,” the defining series of my childhood, going to my local Gardner Park or just enjoying myself wholeheartedly with no strings attached.
We would flounce around the park, climb up on top of the monkey bars and hang by our legs, play those old playground games like grounders and tag. There was also an old dried creek near the park, and we would go in there and walk along it, finding old stones and pretending we were going treasure hunting.
When I look back now, it almost feels like those younger years seem shrouded in a cloud of bubbles and rainbows. Yes, I do still have full access to do these things, but I barely have time to sleep nowadays, much less take time out to relive being a kid again.
Do you remember the days when there was nothing on the line? No AP exams waiting to bite you in May, no sense of needing to redeem yourself or impress others. Now, I’m just stuck with AP classes, SAT prep workbooks and the AP U.S. History textbook about old white men fighting and arguing.
I’m really just longing for the bountiful amounts of free time I used to have access to as a kid. Doing nothing is too underrated. And because of the hustle culture, even when I am doing nothing, there’s a constant obligation to to feel like I should be doing something.
I’d go over to my friend’s house after school, sit on the ground and watch pointless 5-minute craft videos on YouTube to follow and laugh along to. Perhaps I’d also talk about silly topics for hours until some parent came and dragged me away, in which I would put up quite a performance to stay for even just 10 more minutes, by not-so-subtly suggesting the parents “catch up.”
Maybe I would even recreate the time I went to a friend’s house to hang out but fell asleep as we were talking. If I were to go back in time, I’d also tell myself to sleep, to make up for all the sleepless nights that would later ensue.
I miss the feeling of my carefree childhood, before I learned about the billions of things that I have to worry and stress about. Right now, I think even something as simple as literally staring off into space would give me some peace of mind.
