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The Saratoga Falcon

The Saratoga Falcon

The Saratoga Falcon

Top 10: sure-fire ways to fail your driver’s test

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Amy Luo
Crashing into mailboxes: a not-so-unique Saratoga student experience.

10. Accidentally run your evaluator over

That’s my bad, I was adjusting my seat and kind of forgot that my foot was on the gas pedal. Anyways, since you can’t administer my test, can I get someone else to evaluate me?

9. Forget to stop at a stop sign

My evaluator said to turn right, so I did! But they never said anything about stopping …

8.  Play rock paper scissors with the other car at the 4-way intersection to see who gets to go first

It’s not my fault that my evaluator doesn’t appreciate my innovative diplomacy. 

7. Accelerate over a speed bump

Great America and the Boardwalk are too expensive — my evaluator should be thanking me for the free rollercoaster ride. 

6. Drive 15 mph on a 40 mph road

Last time I drove at 60 mph my dad was hollering and hanging on to the ceiling handle for dear life — stop sending me mixed signals?

5.  Forget your glasses

I swear that stoplight looked like a tree with some red apples on it. 

4.  Crash into a Tesla

I hate driving behind Teslas. Clearly, no amount of assisted driving can prevent them from judging a stoplight wrong and deccelerating from 40 mph to 0 in two seconds.

3. Run into a mailbox

Delivery!

2. Tell your evaluator all the details of your love life

They’re going to have to make a new instant fail checkbox: “Examinee so delusional that they see green lights everywhere — while ignoring all the warning signs.” 

1. Take three right turns because you can’t turn left

Who said I have to listen to where the evaluator tells me to go? Am I right or am I right? Right.

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