We have all heard of irrational fears before — the fear of dark spaces, the ocean’s depths and even of sleeping alone at night. But just how irrational can a fear be? Let me introduce you to my biggest enemy, my arch nemesis, something that freaks me out so much I flee from the mere sight of it: butterflies.

You are bound to spot one of those flying beasts frequently attempting to perch on your arm anytime you are out and about in flourishing greenery. And you may be wondering why I am labeling butterflies, insects known to be vibrantly beautiful and majestic, with such a derogatory term.  My answer is plain and simple: Butterflies are simply disgusting wannabe moths. 

Think about it — anywhere there is a bright light, a nasty gray moth hovers around the cobweb-covered glow for hours on end. In my eyes, a butterfly is just a moth with color that likes to be around people rather than light. Like seriously, don’t moths have something better to do with their life than just fly around one spot day in day out?

A butterfly does the exact same thing except it aimlessly flies around people, not light. 

I find their fluttering more annoying than graceful. Under their vibrant hues lie the same traits of the gray, cobweb-loving moth. Once you see it, it’s impossible to unsee: 4 fluttery wings, small grappling legs and a tiny frame. Disgusting. 

I recall several instances when I have been out with my friends or family, minding my own business and one of these demonic creatures decided to land on my arm. One time, walking through a strawberry field off the coast of Davenport, an object fluttered in my peripheral vision as I crouched down in search of the ripest berries. I told myself I was seeing things and continued working until I felt the daintiest pressure on my arm. I could barely register the pale white wings flashing up at me. Within a few moments, I was letting out the loudest and most obnoxious screech, bolting around in circles trying to get rid of the repulsive insect.

In reality, butterflies are the masters of camouflage. They seem to serve no useful purpose and don’t deserve the hype that they get for being graceful and beautiful insects. Bees already take the spot for the number 1 pollinator; butterflies are simply a useless extra.