- Seasonal “take me back” posts
Any post captioned “take me back” is most definitely coupled with an oversaturated, “deep-fried” picture of someone in a tropical resort, likely destroying the environment while they’re at it.
- Couples with matching Target flannel pajamas
If you are a new couple posting on Instagram this holiday season, please spare you and your significant other the embarrassment and keep the sub-par, corny pictures in your camera roll. Let’s be honest — you only started dating because it’s cuffing season and you don’t want to spend another New Year’s alone. Give it two weeks time before you’ll cheat on each other, delete all couples photos off VSCO, block each other and go your separate ways until next winter when you need a winter formal date.
- Millennials or parents going to Disneyland
I didn’t grasp the concept of “being lost in your thirties” until I saw millennials travel in packs at Disneyland with matching “Disney Squad” T-shirts. It’s tacky. It’s unoriginal. It’s nauseating. If you need neon custom ink shirts to identify your family in an amusement park, you should reconsider opening a book or touching some grass by Fantasyland.
- Friend group ski trips at Lake Tahoe
How fun — I bet y’all are having a swell time while the rest of us are stuck at home, only skiing in our dreams. Plus … I’ll get FOMO.
- Formal posts (guilty)
We all dread the never-ending slew of formal posts (although I may be guilty of partaking in this tradition), but the ones that really terrify me have the same copy-and-paste captions. The dry text usually reads along the lines of: “still the shortest even with heels,” “formal” followed by the snowflake emoji or “one down three more to go.” On top of this, I cannot stand the ill-edited collages of every single picture you’ve taken with every single person in the entire school. Oh, and with all due respect, I will not be going through all 10 slides with your 50 tagged people. I command you to stop immediately.
- Controversial relatives posting right-wing propaganda on Facebook
We all have those problematic relatives that refuse to read reliable sources — and are the reason why we dread family get-togethers.
- Ads that make you feel guilty during the holidays
There is always an obnoxious amount of guilt-tripping ads during the holidays that interrupt your daily youtube rabbit hole. Most are a solemn montage of baby animals with some sort of caption reading “How would you feel being stuffed on Thanksgiving?” Rather than donate to whatever cause it may be, I am left feeling unsettled and disturbed by the very graphic b-roll that I can’t skip until the full 15 seconds is over.
- Senior commit posts that make you sad
Real.
- Ridiculously large family gatherings
Respectfully, or disrespectfully, no one wants to see your entire family of 50 cousins and dozens of extended in-laws wearing matching heinous Christmas sweaters. I don’t want to see your Aunt May getting turnt off of holiday mocktails.
- Siblings or dating
In lieu of holiday spirit, I really dislike the spirit of playing a guessing game whether or not a couple are siblings or dating. Some of you guys really need to clarify in the caption because I cannot catch myself again baffled that two people who I thought were siblings went to winter formal together.