Top 10: ways to fall

Graphic by Beverly Xu

You would think I would have learned to be wary of banana peels from all the cartoon characters who slip on them.

10. Slip on a banana peel

Come on — be more original. Go bananas!

9. Step on a soccer ball instead of dribbling it

All sides of the ball look the same anyway — how could you possibly know which side to kick?

8.  Get out of bed too quickly

This is what you get for trying to be a morning person: blacked-out vision, a lack of recollection of how you fell and a potential concussion after waking up laying flat on the floor.

7.  Take a tumble down a marble staircase while taking pictures of the New York City library ceiling

“I totally missed that step on purpose. You see? Now I don’t need to pull out this bloody baby tooth myself!”  British pun intended.

6. Stub your toe and trip on your way UP the same marble staircase

At this point there must be something wrong with this staircase — maybe its steps are just a bit too short, or perhaps each step protrudes too far — at any rate, the problem can’t possibly be you.

5.  Crash into a kid on the ski slopes

Of course, it’s the kid’s fault that now you’re starfished on a bush.

4. Go on a picnic in September

Trust me, it’s one of the best ways to “fall.” Or rather, the best way to take “autumn-ble.”

3. Trip over your grandma while she’s doing her physical therapy

Your balance and hip alignment is worse than your grandma’s. Well, maybe not anymore.

2. Slip while stepping into your bathtub and crash into the glass

A bath turned into an adult self-baptization — but be careful — crash into the glass a little too hard and you might really meet your maker. 

1. Fall FOR somebody

Sadly, that’s not the end of your unfortunate stumbles. Now you’ll be doing a lot more “trippin’, fallin’ with no safety net.”