Top 10: sure-fire ways to fail your driver’s test

Graphic by Amy Luo

Crashing into mailboxes: a not-so-unique Saratoga student experience.

Disclaimer: I passed my driver’s test with only two marks off on my first try, but failing your driving test is easier than you’d think.

10. Accidentally run your evaluator over

That’s my bad, I was adjusting my seat and kind of forgot that my foot was on the gas pedal. Anyways, since you can’t administer my test, can I get someone else to evaluate me?

9. Forget to stop at a stop sign

My evaluator said to turn right, so I did! But they never said anything about stopping …

8. Play rock paper scissors with the other car at the 4-way intersection to see who gets to go first

It’s not my fault that my evaluator doesn’t appreciate my innovative diplomacy.

7. Accelerate over a speed bump

Great America and the Boardwalk are too expensive — my evaluator should be thanking me for the free rollercoaster ride.

6. Drive 15 mph on a 40 mph road

Last time I drove at 60 mph my dad was hollering and hanging on to the ceiling handle for dear life — stop sending me mixed signals?

5. Forget your glasses

I swear that stoplight looked like a tree with some red apples on it.

4. Crash into a Tesla

I hate driving behind Teslas. Clearly, no amount of assisted driving can prevent them from judging a stoplight wrong and deccelerating from 40 mph to 0 in two seconds.

3. Run into a mailbox

Delivery!

2. Tell your evaluator all the details of your love life

They’re going to have to make a new instant fail checkbox: “Examinee so delusional that they see green lights everywhere — while ignoring all the warning signs.”

1. Take three right turns because you can’t turn left

Who said I have to listen to where the evaluator tells me to go? Am I right or am I right? Right.