If you’re pregnant (or not), avoid these truly odd food cravings

We attempted to try some pregnancy cravings and what comes next is truly shocking.

Sadism is our kryptonite. We are sadists, and we are unashamed about it. Though no justification is required, that is why we chose to subject ourselves to these atrocities. What atrocities could rival the Mongol invasions and conquests and the French Wars of Religion? So glad you asked. The cravings of a pregnant woman.

We both set out to try those cravings, and boy was it a rollercoaster of emotions. You may be thinking that women are normal when they are pregnant. They’re not. They are hormonal leaky faucets with a craving for disgusting food combinations.

Hot Cheetos and pickles: 7/10

This was a godly combination on paper but a humbling one on the taste buds. It was a little sour and a little spicy, which Will liked, but Divya thought it overstimulated her senses because of the sheer amount of sour flavor (As you can tell, she doesn’t like pickles).

Avocado and chocolate: 2/10

We then moved onto avocado and chocolate, which was quite frankly disgusting. Though the two components might have been reminiscent of some sort of expensive vegan LA ice cream flavor, it delivered less than it promised. The texture of the avocado combined with the smooth nature of the chocolate was pleasant on the palate, but the flavors were too different to have a successful marriage. The somewhat nutty and savory flavor of the avocado made the chocolate’s sweetness stand out unpleasantly.

Banana and ketchup: 0/10

Predictably, this tasted like your worst nightmare, worse than your teeth falling out and being pantsed in front of the class. It was at this point in time that we wondered how painful pregnancy must be that you seek solace in unholy combinations such as this. As one can imagine, we spit it out like it was cyanide and never looked back, choosing to look towards the sweeter horizons of our next combination.

Sour patch and cream cheese: 9/10

Sour patch and cream cheese was by far the best combination a pregnant brain could muster up. The combination was reminiscent of a red velvet cake, and the sweetness paired perfectly with the cream cheese tang.

Of all these well-known cravings, this is the only one we endorse.

This was an important experience to understand the wonders of a pregnant woman’s brain, but has truly only caused us to become more confused than ever. We can’t possibly understand how and why someone would crave these odd combinations, but you do you, pregnant queens.