Thoughtful gifts leave lasting memories with teachers

Look around the halls a few weeks before Christmas, and you’ll see students carrying decorative bags lined with tissue paper, filled with meaningful gifts for friends. Glance at any teacher’s desk, however, and you’ll likely see a stack of Starbucks cards and chocolates.

Teachers say they often receive large amounts of similar gifts such as candy, and while simple gestures from students are appreciated, they end up sharing the gifts with friends and family because they can’t possibly consume all the items by themselves. For this reason, some teachers said they sometimes prefer to receive more personalized or impactful gifts from students.

“Sometimes I would almost prefer that a student make a donation to a homeless shelter or to some organization in my name,” chemistry teacher Kathy Nakamatsu said. “That would almost mean more to me.”

Teachers said they also appreciate thoughtful gifts that show their students care about them. Nakamatsu recalls that she received one of her most memorable gifts from a student whom she had told that she favored salty food over sweets.

“[His] gift to me was a bag of popcorn [and] a bag of potato chips,” Nakamatsu said. “It’s one of the gifts that I remember because it was so personal. It was like he had listened to me and he remembered.”

Similarly, math teacher P.J. Yim said one of the most interesting gifts he received was a can of Morton Salt. Yim said his student’s logic was that “you can’t live without salt,” and while perplexed, Yim received the gift graciously.

Although he looks back on the gift of salt with amusement, Yim appreciates all of the gifts his students give him equally.

“I don’t have any preferences [in gifts] because it feels wrong to say I prefer this gift to that gift,” Yim said. “If all I got was salt, though, I don’t know what I would do with [the gifts].”

According to teachers, items range from $5 gift cards and sweets to gift cards worth over $100. English teacher Jason Friend said that while the majority of gifts he receives are reasonable, overly expensive or excessive items like the $100 gift card he received one Christmas can prove to be awkward.

“The generosity, of course, is there, but it just seems to be a little weird,” Friend said.

Yim has even returned a few items because their generosity made him “uncomfortable.”

“Some [gifts] go a little overboard,” Yim said. “One time there was a parent who gave me a wad of cash and I had to return it [because] I was like, ‘Are you trying to bribe me?’”

Even without the awkwardness some gifts come with, Yim said that initially, receiving gifts was somewhat of a “culture shock.”

Through his experience attending an inner city middle school as well as teaching at two other schools, Yim said suburbs have a different culture.

“[Growing up in a rough and tumble environment,] I don’t think anyone even thought of giving [more than a handwritten card],” Yim said. “It was weird [the first time I received more] but apparently it’s the culture of suburban schools.”

The school has no policy on gifts, so it is left to the teachers to decide how to decide how to handle situations. Nonetheless, most teachers agree that it is nice to be thanked for the time and effort they put in. For this reason, seniors often give gifts to teachers as a way of thanking them for writing letters recommendation for college.

Teachers like Yim appreciate such gifts but also feel that “face to face” interaction is just as valuable if not more so.

“Taking the time to acknowledge [what others have done] and checking in feels good. It’s good human courtesy,” Yim said.

Still, teachers said most of the gifts students give go a long way in showing their thankfulness.

“A lot of times I feel like [students are] really thanking me for my hard work, especially people who give me gifts for writing letters of [recommendation],” Nakamatsu said. “I really appreciate that they take the time to thank me because it’s a lot of work.”

Teachers said they especially appreciate their students’ notes because they are far more personal than the gifts themselves.

“Some of the best presents I’ve ever [received] have actually been no present and just a really long and thoughtful card,” Friend said “And those have stayed with me far longer than any Starbucks gift certificate ever has.”

In fact, many teachers said they keep the thoughtful cards and read them when they’re feeling down.

“Some of them I pull out when I’m depressed and having a bad teaching day [to] remind myself I love my job,” Nakamatsu said.

Said Friend: “I’ll look at the box of cards, and it kind of reminds [me] of what [teaching is] all about.”