Graphic by Divya Vadlakonda

The illusion of intimacy has been exacerbated by social media.

Internet users nowadays have become desensitized to a sobering truth: We feel increasingly entitled to others’ private information. Such entitlement can be seen scrolling past a heated Instagram comment that offers startlingly disparaging input on a celebrity’s appearance, TikToks of fans raving about the love lives of their idols as if they were close friends or even mundane news headlines that offer windows into what a celebrity is eating for lunch. 

These interactions can be characterized as parasocial relationships, or one-sided relationships in which one party does not know the other party exists. Of course, these relationships existed long before the age of the internet. Yet in recent years, it seems as if the personal insights consumers are allowed into a celebrity’s life have increased the intensity of these parasocial relationships tenfold. As such, more of us should become more self-aware about our relationship with social media and make efforts to decrease our reliance on it, familiar as it is.

Parasocial relationships should exist only in moderation: As a society, we can achieve this through limiting media consumption. In an era where it is almost impossible to exist on any platform without forming parasocial relationships (and where such relationships are lucrative to businesses), it is up to the consumer to moderate their own expectations and relationships with their favorite celebrities.

One of the most prominent examples of a collective parasocial response in recent years occurred when singer Rihanna stopped making music in 2017 to focus on her makeup brand, Fenty Beauty. Fans did not laud her for her business venture — instead, they seemed annoyed that she would dare focus on anything other than music, as if she was obliged to ebb and flow at their will. This discourse still  surrounds her seven years later.

Parasocial relationships can take a much darker turn, prompting fans to send celebrities death threats or even show up at their houses. While these interactions are obviously harmful for the public figure, they shed a light into the severely compromised mental health of the consumer. Studies have shown that engaging too deeply into parasocial relationships can skew one’s expectations for real-life relationships, potentially lowering overall happiness and life satisfaction. Additionally, investing too much time into parasocial relationships can cause individuals to feel less motivated to nurture their real-world relationships.

Consumers must assess the media with a more critical lens and acknowledge that what they see online is an incomplete picture. Shielding themselves from sensationalism and clickbait by discerning the context of the information presented before having an emotional response to it is imperative.

The line between the consumer and public figure should be strictly defined through self-prescribed digital boundaries that allow more time for real-life relationships. It can often be hard to stop scrolling because of social media’s addictive sense of familiarity, but making an effort to find new hobbies that stimulate yourself and broaden your horizons can help break the cycle.

Those who do not carefully assess their actions online before crossing boundaries continue to normalize the perception of public figures as dolls to control or fictional characters to rag on. This is an unnatural and harmful tendency that, without intervention, will cause them to become victims of an illusion of intimacy.