Rejection? More like self-affection!

November 20, 2019 — by Joann Zhang

For hundreds of years, traditional masculinity has diminished the individuality of both men and women. Confining gender roles have given way to expectations that men be unwaveringly macho and women meek and subservient.

Shooting your shot, or asking someone out, for example, is traditionally done by men, as they are the ones to “take charge.” But it’s 2019, and mostly Boomers still adhere to traditional gender roles. 

So I say, Girls, shoot your shot. Take charge. If you want that absolute snack in fourth-period newspaper, you have to swipe him.

According to the Swipe Life article “Why aren’t more women asking guys out?” a survey found that 90 percent of men support women making the first move, but only 15 percent of women shoot their shot first.

For most girls, fear of rejection holds us back. But honestly? Rejection is more liberating than painful. For example, during the winter break of 2018, I met a cute boy from San Diego during a volunteering trip to Nepal, and by the last day of the weeklong trip, I was completely smitten. It was clear that he wasn’t about to ask me out, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. 

After some bathroom rehearsal, I waited patiently by his flight gate as the passengers trickled into the plane. But just as boarding was about to end, he sprinted from the depths of the Burger King store with a greasy bag and passport in hand. One fleeting wave later, and he was gone. 

The whole situation made me question whether or not to shoot my shot, but two nights after arriving home, I texted him and told him. 

In what he would later tell our friend was an “oof” moment, he replied with “Thanks! I hope I see you again too :P.” 

Obviously, I was upset. After a few hours, though, not only did I feel freed from the “what if?” feeling that usually followed my crushes, I felt confident and assertive. So what if some boy who almost missed his flight for Burger King didn’t like me? I shot my shot, and I was proud of it.

So, gals, we’re halfway through winter and you have no one to watch “Last Christmas” with. Could it be because you haven’t shot your shot? 

Could it be out of fear of something that hurts momentarily but leaves a lasting impression of power, pride and independence? 

Yes, it is. Go shoot your shot.

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At UC Berkeley, PhD student Abrar Abidi and research assistant Yvonne Hao have embarked on a goal of creating hand sanitizer for the Bay Area's most vulnerable populations, including the homeless and the incarcerated. Their hand sanitizer includes glycerol mixed with other products, in accordance with a formula from the World Health Organization. So far, they are producing 120 hundreds of gallons of sanitizer each week. Photo courtesy of Roxanne Makasdjian with UC Berkeley.


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