Junior reflects on ups and downs of being Pakistani

With the partition of India in 1947 came bloodshed, riots, despair and one of the largest mass migrations in history. Millions of lives were cut short, and thousands of families were separated.

In 1947, India and Pakistan became two separate nations following the countries’ victory in the struggle for independence from Britain. Millions of Indian Muslims had to travel west to Pakistan as a result of the partition. With the new nation came a new identity: They were no longer Indians, but Pakistanis.

For junior Shahnoor Jafri’s family, adopting this new identity was not easy. Before the birth of her father, her grandparents decided to move to Pakistan; however, tensions arose when her grandfather wanted to return to India after the birth of Jafri’s father.

Her father’s family was split apart when her grandparents decided to take two separate paths — her grandmother remained a Pakistani and her grandfather an Indian.

“They had this whole drama,” Jafri said, “so they separated. My father, my grandmother and [my father’s] three brothers moved to Pakistan.”

Adjusting to Pakistani life without a husband was difficult for Jafri’s grandmother. As a single mother working as a school teacher, she struggled to feed and support her children.

“[My grandmother] was only earning about one rupee a day,” Jafri said. “They were really broke. My dad and his three other brothers were pretty much sleeping hungry.”

According to Jafri, her parents’ childhood struggles have made them appreciate the simpler things in life.

“They were really hard workers; they were pressured a lot,” Jafri said. “I believe my parents were a lot more hard-working and a lot more thankful than me. That’s the difference between us.”

Jafri was able to see how her parents grew up when she visited Pakistan five years ago.

“I loved it. I felt so [at home],” she said. “I would go and stay in different houses with my aunts and uncles.”

On the other hand, seeing the poverty that her parents grew up with made Jafri more appreciative of her life.

“[I could see a lot of] the dark parts, like labor at a young age and separation and poverty in Pakistan,” she said.

After growing up in Pakistan, Jafri’s father moved to Canada in the 1970s to further his education. Because of the cold climate, however, he decided to move to San Jose, where he and his brother started a business of selling software together. After his business became successful, he moved his family to Saratoga.

Jafri said that her father’s difficult childhood in Pakistan stands in stark contrast to her sheltered life in Saratoga.

“I’m relaxed; I don’t have to work,” Jafri said. “I can just study, and that’s the only stress I have, junior year. [My family was] working hard. They learned it the hard way. Saratoga kids [are] not exactly exposed to the world like that.”

Jafri and her family continue to practice their Muslim religion and celebrate their culture. The family has also established strong relationships with other Pakistani families in the area.

“I have this different community I go to, like this place at the mosque [with] all these Pakistani people there,” Jafri said. “I really like how we’re in unity because I’m a lot [closer] to my Pakistani friends compared to the friends here.”

Jafri said there are struggles growing up as a Muslim in California, but there are also those who accept her culture.

“As a Muslim, there are still racist people out there who just see us as a bunch of illiterate terrorists,” she said. “But there are also really open-minded people who love our clothes, foods and the unity we have. I guess it just really depends on what kind of person you are; [you] can either perceive it in a really negative way or positive way.”

Jafri’s Pakistani and American culture have sometimes clashed, such as when she began wearing her headscarf, called a hijab, as part of her Muslim faith when she was an elementary school student.

“Everyone saw me,” Jafri said, “and they were staring at me like, ‘Woah. What is that?’”

Although some students taunted her in middle school because of her hijab, Jafri said other students do not seem to notice it nowadays.

“It made my life a little bit harder in middle school, because I was bullied a lot for [wearing a hijab],” Jafri said. “They [would] say, ‘Oh my god, you’re a terrorist.’ [Now] in high school, no one really cares anymore.”

Jafri said that her religion impacts everyday events in her life, like playing on the school’s basketball team. During games, she must wear long, dry-fit clothes underneath her jersey and tightly wrap her headscarf around her head.

“I still have to keep my hijab; I have to stay modest,” Jafri said. “I can’t wear shorts and a sleeveless jersey. Sure, [the dry-fit clothes] do make it a little difficult when I’m playing, because [they are] really hot. But I’m used to it now, and I’m able to work it out.”

Jafri has learned to embrace life with a hijab, matching it with certain outfits and adding her own personal style to it.

“Whenever I’m wearing cute clothes or a dress, I can somehow change the style to go with my scarf,” she said.

While Jafri explained that the hijab changes many people’s perspectives on Muslim women, men also sometimes have to endure stereotypes, especially when they have a “beard or [wear] caps for praying.”

However, she said that she does not seem to find as many men as women who are bullied for being Muslim.

Another challenge Muslims face is the requirement to pray five times a day, which Jafri said can be hard to fit into her junior year schedule.

“There was a point where I was [saying], ‘OK, should I do my homework first or prayer first?’” Jafri said. “I was just like, ‘OK, I’ll just do the praying first, [then] finish all my homework.’ Now I’m just used to this whole schedule.”

Although fitting prayers in her schedule can sometimes be challenging, Jafri said that her Muslim faith is is the bedrock of her life.

“Whenever you’re having troubles with anything, you can just pray to God,” Jafri said. “[You have] this spiritual intimacy; you feel like, ‘OK, you know what? I think I can push through junior year. I think I’m able to do this, I’m able to do that.’ It’s a way of spiritually feeding your body.”