How to sell your sibling 

October 17, 2021 — by Mitchell Chen
Who knew getting rid of your sibling could also make you some fast cash?

Do you have a sibling you wish your parents had kept the receipt for? Maybe a sibling who blasts music while you’re writing an essay, or perhaps steals your clothes? 

Imagine this: If they were returned, you wouldn’t have to worry about getting snitched on or being the scapegoat for them ever again. You and your parents could be free of the responsibility of another child. 

Usually stores have a no-refund policy, so the solution to get rid of your sibling is simple: Just give them to someone else. And while you’re at it, why not make a little cash? 

Think of your sibling as a product, and with any product, it is only profitable when sold. But be aware, your profit depends on how much people would pay for your sibling. 

When selling your sibling, make sure they are  clean and well fed. The better the condition they’re in, the more valuable they’ll be. If your sibling has special talents such as dancing or climbing, the circus may be your biggest buyer. 

Circus owners are always looking for the “wow factor,” so when an 8-year-old comes in doing handstands, they will be willing to pay big bucks. If they are not potty trained yet, you should probably think of trading them with someone in your neighborhood. Try to find a neighbor who might be willing to trade their pet or toys for your sibling. The ideal trade would be for a dog, but if a goldfish is offered, take the goldfish. 

Now, if no one is willing to purchase or trade for your sibling, then it probably means your parents must have gotten your sibling at half off or something. 

In the case your siblings aren’t even worth a 20 cent goldfish, there isn’t any hope of getting rid of them. Although they may be a nuisance at times, siblings make life interesting, and they will always be there for you — unless you happen to sell them.

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