Forging friendships through pen pals

Like listening to a vinyl record or eating a sundae at an old-fashioned ice cream parlor, there seems to be a romantically nostalgic quality to communicating through handwritten letters. It was this desire to reconnect with the past that galvanized senior Jackie Gu to start a pen pal friendship with Prayuj Pushkarna from Singapore during her sophomore year.

“I specifically wanted a pen pal because I thought letters were a really quaint and old-fashioned way of befriending someone,” Gu said. “There was something really nice about opening an actual letter.”

After Gu and Pushkarna began writing, both saw benefits to conversing through letters.

“Writing and receiving letters feels better because you know the time some has put into writing them,” Pushkarna said, through email. “You can [also] draw on them so it’s a lot more fun. In her letters, she drew random things like seals and turtles and I drew Pikachus and dogs.”

Gu said the distance makes it easier to be more open.

“I felt like the distance made him seem like less of a tangible person, more like some entity that existed to write to me,” Gu said. “It made it easier to confide in him and trust him.”
Though Gu and Pushkarna conversed about typical subjects, such as hobbies, school and pop culture, Gu also used the letters as an educational opportunity. 

“I wanted to know more about Singapore because I thought the government seemed very oppressive; you can’t chew gum, and there is a death penalty for even possession of marijuana,” Gu said. “I thought the country must be completely difficult to live in.”

The inception of Gu and Pushkarna’s pen pal relationship almost seems serendipitous. Gu had been writing an article about students with cultural worldliness for the now-defunct Bay Magazine during her sophomore year. Her friends seniors Evaline Ju and Ashwini Velchamy recommended Pushkarna, their friend from Challenger School, for an interview.

“I emailed him a list of only six questions and he typed up six pages in response. It was ridiculous,” Gu said. “After reading his responses, I thought he sounded very interesting and wanted to get to know him better.”

After roughly half a year of conversing through letters, Pushkarna came back to California to visit during the summer and the two finally had a chance to meet in person.

“When we met in person, it felt somewhat natural,” Gu said.

Soon, the two became fast friends, hanging out as often as three times a week.

“We hiked, watched movies, went to the park, made breakfast and had lunch together multiple times,” Pushkarna said. “We became very close.”

Gu and Pushkarna no longer send letters to each other but still talk frequently over the Internet. Although they’re glad to have met each other, both would like to have another pen pal that they could never actually meet.

“I think the mystery of not knowing anything about the other person aside from what they choose to disclose to you is really cool,” Pushkarna said. “I would be down to talk to anyone in the world.”