ASB Announcements entertain students daily

Patiently, she awaits the rest of the group of ASB members, since three or four of them are assigned to do each morning’s daily announcements in about five minutes.  

Soon after, ASB Secretary senior Maggie Sun arrives. “Hey Grace! Can I do the jokes today?” she asks eagerly. “Let’s have two jokes today, because it’s Two-Joke Tuesday!” 

Ma agrees, and they share a laugh, but they both soon realize that ASB Treasurer senior Robert Eng, also assigned to do announcements that day, is nowhere to be found.

Ma, Sun and Eng alternate with Nikhil Goel, Anup Kar, Manini Desai, Stephanie Chu, and Stephanie Tsang to do the announcements this year — a job that might seem easy but has unforeseen difficulties and involves a lot of improvisation and quick thinking..

The second-period bell rings, and Dini connects them to the PA and tells them to “wing it” without Eng. However, he thankfully walks in at that moment.

“Sorry guys,” Eng says sheepishly as he takes his spot by the PA. 

Sun says, “Good morning Saratoga High School…” The announcements are underway.

During these first minutes of the second period on Monday through Thursday, many students do not actually attentively listen to the announcements. Instead, they use the time to finish up a last bit of homework, to cram for an upcoming exam or just to take a power nap.

“In previous years, I closed my ears to the announcements,” Eng said. “But now that I’m on the other side of the intercom, I realize that I can lengthen people’s attention spans.”

As Sun continues reading the first few announcements, Ma and Eng quietly chatter to the side. When Sun comes to an end, she mouths, “Who’s next?”

Calmly, Ma steps up and brings the PA phone to her mouth as Sun points to where she left off. 

Ma continues reading line by line of the announcements, and holds the PA out to Sun as she finishes.

  However, without warning Sun hurriedly directs her to Eng.

“Oh!” Eng says, as the PA is shoved in his hands. “Uhhh, let’s see…”

Eng continues. “Sophomores and juniors, don’t forget to sign up for the PSAT or SAT in the CCC office. The new location is in the 500 wing — I have no idea where that is.”

Ma and Sun burst out laughing, muffling the sound with their hands.

As Eng is almost done, Ma happily announces that the birthday song is next.

Soon, their joyful yet off-tune singing of “Happy Birthday” pervades through the campus. However, in the office the chorus remains quite soft and the staff dismisses it as another daily occurrence. 

Next, the ASB members proceed to read out the names of that day’s birthdays, a task which is often difficult.

“Often, we don’t have a lot of time before we have to make a decision about how to pronounce a name,” Ma said. “There are also those names that are long and impossible to say.”

Then, it is time for the infamous ASB Joke of the Day, which is found from a variety of sources online, student submissions, or random jokes that ASB officers hear. Some are found from YouTube videos by the “vlogbrothers,” compilations of jokes submitted by people on Twitter. These include videos fittingly entitled “53 Terrible Jokes,” “31 Jokes for Nerds” and “51 Jokes in 4 Minutes.”

Laughing at the wittiness of their own joke, the ASB officers can’t help to wonder what the student body thinks of it.

“Oh my, that was really bad,” Ma chuckles.

Quickly, Sun remembers that there is another joke to be told, and returns to the PA.

“Hey Grace, how does Jack Frost get to work?” Sun asks.

“I don’t know Maggie, how?” Ma replies.

“By B-icicle!” Sun reveals.

“Thank you, Saratoga, and have a great Two-Joke Tuesday!” Sun says as a conclusion.

With the day’s ASB morning announcements off their plates, the three scramble out of the office and walk to their classes, waving goodbye as they branch off to their separate classes.