How to binge-watch

Welcome to the new and improved way of watching TV: binge watching. 

To be honest, I’ve never followed or finished any TV shows before this year — the closest I came was making disparaging remarks about the Chinese soap operas my parents adore. Last December, though, I finally decided to watch a Nickelodeon cartoon my friends have long lauded as “more than just for kids” — “Avatar: The Last Airbender” (AtLA). 

Sixty-one episodes, two weeks and almost 24 hours of showtime later … here it is: the definite guide (not really) to binge-watching.

 

Stock up on junk food and get cozy

Leaving your room for any reason is not preferable during a binge-watching session. To avoid starvation, keep a collection of food into your room. 

Pringles, pretzels, BBQ Lays, Sour Punch, M&Ms, Ghirardelli chocolate … whatever you prefer. Water is crucial, too, because a person cannot solely survive on salty snacks. That way, when you have to eat dinner with your family, you won’t be very hungry and can return to your room (and your beloved show) as soon as possible.

If your parents are like mine and don’t like using the heater, you’ll also need blankets.  Unfortunately, fangirling, no matter how intense, doesn’t produce any actual warmth. Suggestions: blankets, sweatpants, oversized jackets and beanies, Winnie-the-Pooh socks you’re too embarrassed to wear to school, etc. Keep in mind that you will want to move as little as possible when you start watching. 

 

Let yourself go (mostly)

Don’t worry about being productive during this period. You won’t be. Even if you try, thoughts of your show will creep into your brain and you’ll be unable to concentrate on anything else. Instead, focus on finishing your show as soon as possible so you can return to your normal schedule of studying. 

This is why it’s so important to begin binge-watching during a break, when you don’t really need to get anything done. Try to stay with your daily routines, though. If you’ve practiced piano for an hour every day since you were ten, don’t let binge-watching ruin your streak. Think of the big picture (and then return to your show). 

The only thing you should still be careful about is your eyes. You can do your math homework later, but ruining your eyes is permanent. Between episodes, take a five-minute break. Close your eyes, or practice distance vision by looking at faraway trees. It’s hard to convince yourself to do at the time, but binge-watching pain is temporary. Eyes are forever.   

 

Tell your family

The truth is, you’ll be irritated when your parents ask you to stop watching your beloved show, no matter how reasonable their argument is. 

You will also be emotionally on edge because of what’s happening in the show. Every minute you have to be outside your room is a moment that your precious characters are lying in limbo, perhaps with a knife to their throats, and here you are in stupid, boring reality, unable to discover their fate. It’s a funny thing to be so attached to a fictional world, but binge-watching, by nature, intensifies your feelings.

Basically, so that your family doesn’t worry too much about your strange habits of alternatively crying and laughing, let them know. It’s no different from warning them that you’ll be on edge because of finals week or AP testing … right? 

 

Post binge-watching depression 

Let’s face it: You’re going to be sad when your mini-marathon is over.  Unlike running a real marathon, spending over 10 or 20 hours watching TV leaves you with a strong sense of guilt for wasting so much time, and also nostalgia for your characters. You can never re-experience watching a show for the first time. 

You may be tempted to sate your obsession with reading fanfiction (especially if your favorite couple didn’t get together in the end) or looking at fanart on sites like fanfiction.net, deviantart or Tumblr (resistance of this urge, in my case, was futile). You need to leave a buffer of at least five days of planned unproductivity between you finishing your show and school starting. That said, the sooner you return to normal life, the better. 

Sure, binge-watching can be unhealthy. But it is the easiest, drug-free way to another universe, and that experience is more than worth a few extra pounds and eyestrain.

“Sherlock,” anyone?