Can you go 24 hours Internet-free?

If I had to summarize my life with one quote, I’d pick this gem from John Green: “Just move to the Internet, it’s great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome.”

I spend an inordinate amount of time online. Over the summer, I woke up early, told myself I’d be productive studying for the SAT and instead spent the day reading fanfiction, glued to the computer screen until my dry, damaged eyes cried for mercy.

But because of my undying devotion to The Falcon, I signed up for a Internet abstinence story. Planning to start my prison sentence at 5 on a Friday evening, I spent every last second  finishing up my online chores  (Feed my Puffles on Club Penguin! Water my Webkinz garden!) until 5:31, when I finally forced myself to turn off the computer…

I spent the next couple minutes staring at the blank, black screen  The sound of my Spotify playlist stilled, all I heard was tick-tock, tick-tock from the kitchen clock.

My mom seized this opportunity to recruit me for some chores, as I was oh-so-conveniently sitting less than 30 feet away from her. Barred from Facebook, I instead spent Friday night chopping Asian vegetables I don’t know the English names for and folding clothes.

The true desperation of my situation hit me around 9:30. I had planned to finish cleaning my room, but the prospect of folding the Leaning Tower of Semi-Clean Clothes was simply not appealing enough to lift me out of my lethargy. Bored out of my mind, I went to sleep ridiculously early (around 10), and instead of sleeping my usual seven hours, I turned off my alarm and slept in until 7 in the morning.

Luckily, I didn’t have to spend the whole day in the house thinking about my beloved Internet and our forced estrangement. I’d agreed to go help my brother move into his dorm. But even there I wasn’t free of temptation.

My family, mercilessly (but probably in reality, forgetfully), reminded me of my sad predicament at every opportunity. “Ashley, can you check where the traffic ends on Google Maps?” “If you’re bored, why don’t you revise one of your newspaper stories on Google Docs?” SO CRUEL.

Even my chosen distraction (reading “The Crucible” for English homework) wasn’t totally Internet-proof. My vocabulary is not terribly remarkable, and instead of being able to just Google the definition of various words, I had to (gasp!) tag them with a sticky-note and look them up later.

In the end, the best diversion was sleep. I slept on the return trip and indulged in a nap on the couch once I got back. Looking back, I think I’ve slept through almost half of the duration of this challenge.

On the bright side, at least I’ll be well-rested for the four hours of Internet-binging that comes next. Right?