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The Saratoga Falcon

The Saratoga Falcon

The Saratoga Falcon

Modern era causes blurring of gender boundaries

Ever since the rise of chivalry in medieval times, men have been expected to take care of their female counterparts. But times have changed, and with it comes a burning question. Are men still expected to play the dominating role in a relationship?
Senior Maggy Liu did not have any expectations when she began dating her current boyfriend.  
“In my family, there aren’t a lot of men, so I was raised to think, ‘Why do I need a guy to pay for me?’” Liu said. 
Liu said that because of the “modern age,” she doesn’t think it is fair for guys to have to pay for everything, especially because most guys spend their parents’ money.  
“I’m not dating his family, so his family shouldn’t have to pay for all my stuff,” Liu said. 
Liu added that when she goes on dates with her boyfriend, they always "go Dutch," or split everything equally. However, she feels that in most cases the guy is expected to pay.
"In some ways it’s easier to be the girl in a relationship," Liu said. "When it comes to paying, a guy can’t be like, ‘No, can we go Dutch?’ because it seems like he is cheap."
Senior Tim Park expressed a similar sentiment.  He said that a girl should not expect a guy to pay for something in a relationship.
"If a girl feels entitled to something in a relationship, that is really selfish," Park said. "But if a guy actually wants to take a girl on a date or buy something for a girl, then that is really nice."
Park said he tries to pay for a girl on a date, merely because it is a “nice gesture.”
"There are high expectations for guys to pay for a girl on a date," Park added. "But the girl shouldn't be mad if the guy does not pay.”
According to USA Today, 87 percent of women surveyed said they would pick up the tab on a date under certain circumstances.  Additionally, less than half (48 percent) typically wait for the other person to call after a first date. However, 89 Senior Pavi Sadras said that although it is normal for a guy to be the one who asks a girl out, it doesn't always have to be this way.
"Traditionally, it is nice for guys to ask girls, but girls asking guys is OK too.  I mean, I'm usually the one who asks the guy," Sadras said.
Liu believes that the expectation that guys be the one to initiate relationships is old-fashioned and that girls have every right to be able to asks guys on dates and to dances. 
“I think that [guys asking girls out] is a very antiquated form of courtship and it’s just as harmful to guys as it is to girls,” Liu said. “The guys are pressured to ask the girl out and the girl must wait to ‘preserve her virtue.'"
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