“Oh my god, did you see ‘The Bachelor’?”
Those are the first words out of my mouth every Tuesday morning, since every night before, there has most likely been yet another shocking turn of events on the hit ABC reality dating show.
In the meantime, I spend time strategizing about all the possibilities of how this insane rollercoaster of a season could end for Nick Viall, this season’s Bachelor, and his vast array of women vying for his heart.
For those of you who live under rocks, “The Bachelor” is one of the most watched programs on TV, airing Monday nights at 8 p.m. Even if people aren’t a part of #BachelorNation, they’re still bound to hear about it endlessly from those who immerse themselves into the craziness of this show.
I’ve been watching “The Bachelor” for eight years, and never in the past seven seasons have I seen such a pathetic contestant as Nick. He cries in self-doubt at least once an episode because he thinks his quest for love isn’t working out. I wouldn’t believe much in love, either, if I’d stuck around this franchise for the past two years. He fell in love twice on “The Bachelorette,” picked out the engagement ring each time, but right before the proposal, he was sent home.
He’s not a lucky guy, but maybe it’s just because he’s so random. He sparks the most mindless conversations with these women, asking if they wear sweatpants to the grocery store or humble-bragging about how he is quite the master at ironing his shirts. I’ve never seen anything like it; where’s his “Bachelor” charm, his amazing conversation skills, his laugh-out-loud humor? Nick doesn’t have any of it. It’s a good thing his pitiful personality is entertaining.
Nick isn’t the only one who’s outside “The Bachelor” norm. Most women this season seem either deranged or desperate.
Take, for instance, Corinne, the obnoxious rich girl gone villainous. I cringed at almost every word that came out of her mouth. This 24-year-old woman from Miami was possibly my least favorite contestant in history. Her immature personality and interactions with the other women made my mouth drop, especially when she tackled Nick in a bouncy house wearing a skimpy swimsuit. I was surprised she had even made it to hometowns, the episode where the final four women get to bring Nick home to meet their families.
Rather than show him childhood spots around town or introduce him to her workplace, Corinne thought spending the entire day with Nick at the mall buying him a $1,000 outfit was a good idea. That was a bad decision. Nick sent Corinne home the next time he saw her.
Corinne’s everlasting feud with 23-year-old contestant Taylor about Corinne’s constant napping and lack of “emotional intelligence” led to a season jam-packed with exchanges of petty comments, accusations of lying and even Taylor’s mental breakdown when she ran off into a forest and made a Corinne VooDoo doll.
Though I relished in the crazy times with Corinne and Taylor, along with many other women who went home, I was excited for the final three: Rachel, Raven and Vanessa. Since Rachel was officially announced to be the star of this year’s “The Bachelorette,” which airs this spring, we knew she was being sent home, so it wasn’t a surprise that Raven and Vanessa were the final two.
Raven is a spunky Southern belle who is the epitome of a sweetheart. Her thick accent and corny jokes make her kindness and humor so much more enjoyable, and I’ve been rooting for her since the beginning. Her relationship with Nick is edited to seem like a fairytale, and I really hope their TV love story is a reality.
On the other hand, we have Vanessa. Though her chemistry with Nick is undeniable and their emotional connection is intense, their relationship would make no sense in the real world. She lives in Canada, an entire country away from Nick’s Milwaukee home, and has no motivation to move away. And not to mention, she cries literally all the time about this process. Like get it together, have you ever even seen “The Bachelor”?
I haven’t watched the final episode yet, so you’d better not spoil it for me. But this season of the show has upped the insanity, desperation and romance like never before. Yeah, there are roles that are always filled during the season like the villain, the frontrunner and even the crazy girl who sticks around for a while even though her presence may not make much sense. However, Nick and his women have surely blended those stereotypes on the “The Bachelor,” and have made this season an exciting and mysterious one to tune into.
Update: In a predictable, 2 hour long show, Nick successfully proposed to Vanessa. The episode showcased both of the girls meeting Nick’s family. Raven was an instant hit, charming Nick’s mom and sister with her sweet demeanor and devotion to Nick. Vanessa, on the other hand, used the opportunity to vent to Nick’s mom about all of the insecurities that she had about her possible engagement.
To be honest, Vanessa’s constant indecisiveness about what she wanted to come out of the relationship was nothing but frustrating, especially as Raven expressed certainty about marrying Nick throughout the entire episode.
In the “After the Final Rose” special, Vanessa and Nick were noticeably tense, with Vanessa even citing problems that she and Nick had been having with their relationship so far. Fifty bucks says that they don’t make it another six months.