“What’s next? What’s next?” Whispers flew across the table as my friend Sophie drew one shocking item after another out of a gift bag on Christmas last year.

Instead of giving her a typical toy car and keys, I decided to give her a bottle of Coppertone tanner with an image of a girl and a dog on the front.

“What does she like?” I asked before her party, addressing my friends in our group chat, who were already discussing potential present ideas. After going back and forth between clothes and running gear, someone jokingly put out the name of a boy who kept flirting with her: Tanner.

Leaping at the opportunity, I went to Target with Mary, who brought up the idea, and scoured the store for a bottle of tanner. The only one we could find had the words “tanning lotion,” so I scratched it out and replaced it with Tanner’s name.

On the way, for a slightly less cruel gift, we picked up a v-neck shirt since she only wore v-necks, a pair of socks, a magazine titled “Teen Mom Pregnancy” and a pack of quality Target running socks.

On the day of the party, I arrived with the items in a sparkly red bag and a receipt, in case she wanted to return everything.

The time finally came to open the present, and laughing nervously, Sophie said she would put it to good use.

Later, she sent me a picture with her wearing the shirt and holding the tanner, magazine and socks in the other, thanking me for a really great gift. It turned out to be not such a dreadful present after all.