- The car and the GPS were arguing with one another
The car wanted to take the scenic route; the GPS insisted on a short cut — so I ended up in a back-and-forth that made me late.
- I was stuck in an epic dream
The plot was intricate, and the characters were compelling. Reality just HAD to wait until the credits rolled.
- I was kidnapped by my bed, and it took a while to escape
The blanket was not innocent. The pillow was in on it too. Luckily, my cool Ninja skills from my epic dream transferred to reality, and I was able to escape. Really, it’s a miracle I even made it to class.
- The power went out
It was too dark to make it safely to school — kind of similar to the shade of my closed eyelids now that I think about it.
- My clothes were still socializing in the dryer
I had to wait until social hour was over and I definitely can’t go to school in dirty clothes.
- My dog ate my alarm clock
And my homework too …
- I got into a real jam with my breakfast
It was a sticky situation. Jam was everywhere, and by the time I cleaned it up, I was toast.
- The traffic was a-maze-ing today
The route swerved in all directions, decorated with detours and dead ends at each corner. Can’t really say I’m a maze-ter navigator.
- Time is a social construct and I did nothing wrong
In some alternate reality I might even be early.
- The snooze button
Why would they make it if no one was supposed to use it? I’m just trying to be a good capitalist consumer.
