10. Do a public asking without letting the girl know beforehand. You might get rejected, but at least people will know you tried.

9. Do a flash mob asking with your friends. Many tropical birds do mating dances — why can’t you?

8. Send a Facebook message to everyone you’ve said hi to before in the hallways. The key is to cast a wide net first.

7. Ask in the quad in front of the whole school so everyone knows your date is taken. Who knows if your date will decide to go with someone else last minute?

6. If you can’t find a date, just tell everyone you have a girlfriend in college. Don’t worry, we totally believe you guys.

5. Be vigilant. Don’t ask other people to find you a date.

4. Stay vigilant. There are girls at other nearby schools like Mitty that might still say yes to you.

3. Don’t make the lame excuse of having prioritized SAT over formal. The SAT starts at 8 a.m.; Formal starts 10 hours later.

2. Check out farmersonly.com. You may not be a farmer, but you can sure harvest a reputation of desperation.

1. If all else fails, just ask your mom! At least she’ll give you a ride to the venue.