Imagine a student walking down the hallway, arms swinging at his side, shoulders back and openly giving high-fives to other students passing by. Everybody looks at this student and thinks he is someone who was born confident. His emotions and confidence did not come first. His posture, gestures and body language have helped him become the person he is.
Students who are ambivalent and timid can change that just by opening up. In a way, they need to fake these “power poses” to boost their confidence and courage.
Simply put, your body language shapes who you are.
Many students think to themselves: "I don't belong at this academically challenging school,” “I don't belong on this stage,” “I don't belong in this crowd” or “I don't qualify to go to this college."
If you pretend that you belong wherever it is that you want to be, and your nonverbal behavior reflects this, you will gradually feel like you belong.
In every classroom, there is always a student who regularly sits near the back of the classroom, with her head bent low and never raises her hand. Her participation grade in the class continues to slide, and she wants to change this. To begin, she can voluntarily sit up straight and uncross her arms and legs. She can raise her hand higher in the air, as well as subtly nod her head to acknowledge other students’ comments.
According to social psychologist Amy Cuddy, body language, or nonverbal behavior, is a form of communication and interaction. We focus on how our body language affects others and how their body language affects us, only to forget that we, ourselves, are also influenced by our body language.
The popular belief is that a person's emotions and feelings affect his body language at that moment in time, and that a person in high spirits opens up his body, while someone who is in a sad mood physically closes up and avoids getting in other people’s space.
Cuddy’s studies prove that it is the opposite: Your body language affects your emotions.
A student who fully extends his arm when raising his hand, walks with his shoulders back and gives others in the hallway a high-five might be someone who is used to being the alpha-figure. But again, his confidence did not come first. His bold body language and choice to take up more space boosted his testosterone, giving him poise and tenacity.
The more space you take up, the more confident you become. Whereas if you are timid and close up your body, you automatically become less certain and more hesitant.
We are all under an inordinate amount of pressure as teens, and any improvement in our confidence would help immensely, in both our social and academic lives. We shouldn't take this as a sort of gimmicky, cliche advice, but instead put this into practice.
Take a moment, and do a quick self-assessment of your body gestures. Are you crossing your legs and wrapping your ankles, or are you spread out and sitting up straight? Look at the other people around you and notice their body language. Are they smiling, waving, giving a handshake or nodding their head? If you lack the confidence that you want to have, use this opportunity to gain that confidence through body language.
Just like Cuddy encouraged adults in the workplace, student should also “fake it until you make it,” or more importantly, “fake it until you become it.”
