While the members of his Boy Scout troop enjoyed the fresh air during their latest kayak outing at Elk Horn Slough in Monterey, freshman Shrey Desai was absent from the festivities. Instead, Desai was studying in his room in order to appease his overwhelming desire to get good grades.
“I remember on one incident, there was a Boy Scout meeting that had some really fun activities planned for that day,” Desai said, “but I prioritized [studying for] a Spanish test over the meeting just because I wanted to get my grade up from an A to an A plus.”
High school has meant academic pressure for Desai, and his commitment to Boys Scouts has diminished as a result.
For Desai and many other academic-oriented students like junior Akshay Madhani, getting good grades has become more than just a goal or requirement; it is an obsession.
“For me, in freshman year, grades were like video games,” Madhani said. “Getting good grades can be like doing well on a video game; it can get addicting.”
During Desai’s transition into high school, his parents and other students warned him that his grades would be a large determining factor for colleges, which is why his obsession with grades originally formed.
However, for Madhani, receiving good grades was more of a self-esteem booster that served to enhance his learning.
“I didn’t have the best grades in middle school, so when I got good grades in high school, it kind of made me feel good, so I wanted to do it again and again,” Madhani said.
Madhani added that his desire for self-improvement caused him to set high standards for himself.
“There was no substitute for perfection in my mind,” Madhani said. “There was 100, and that’s it. If my work was less than a masterpiece, I was questioning [myself].”
Due to their perfectionist mentalities, both Desai and Madhani resort to obsessive routines.
“I check Aeries every 10 to 15 minutes to see if there’s been a fluctuation in percentage levels, and if there is, I get extremely worried and tense,” Desai said.
Madhani recalled that in his freshman year, his obsession with grades motivated him to work harder. Often times, Madhani used to spend five to six hours in a row doing homework for his personal enjoyment.
However, this year, Madhani said he has distanced himself from his addiction to grades in order to adjust to the pressures of junior year.
“By sophomore year, I got over the pain from my grades in middle school, which helped me slowly forget about grades. Today, I don’t look at a 98 [percent] and say ‘What did I do wrong?’ I’d be realistic about it,” Madhani said. “Also, as a real workload built up compared to the light one in freshman year, I stopped obsessing because I didn’t have that option.”
However, in hindsight, Madhani said he may have over exaggerated his need for good grades in freshman year.
“Back then, I knew that I was working hard, but I thought it was a good thing,” Madhani said. “But in retrospect, even though I really had fun with it, I really didn’t have to work that hard to get the grades that I got.”
Despite perhaps overworking himself, Madhani feels that his addiction was a healthy one.
“It’s ridiculous [to get mad over a 98 percent], but it’s not unhealthy as long as you don’t do stupid things like [lose] sleep because you’re studying, [take] extra stress or [feel] like you can’t breathe,” Madhani said.
Desai added that his desire for good grades has been a motivational factor, even if it goes overboard at times.
“If I see something bad, I always strive to do better, and I'm never content,” Desai said. “Sometimes, it does take over my life and becomes unhealthy, but I think my obsession over grades has made me a better student, get better grades and make me a better person, overall.”