Sitting in my chair in my AP Statistics class, as I am typing this story on my laptop, I am running on three hours of sleep. However, my reason for not sleeping has nothing to do with procrastination and trying to finish homework at the last minute, but more to do with my nemesis, insomnia. 

I’ve always had trouble falling asleep; it usually takes at least two hours of lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and counting to 100 to even stand a chance of nodding off. Despite my efforts to overcome it, I have yet to win my battle with this paralyzing condition. 

Among my failed methods are listening to soothing music to fall asleep faster or just taking naps to recover for lost time, but neither has worked for me. Trying to take a nap is simply a pure waste of time, as it takes me more time to fall asleep than the time I’m napping. 

Part of my problem is stress. As a second-semester senior, it may seem stupid that I still have this issue. After all, I’m supposed to be “worry-free,” knowing where I’m going to college and not having to stress about grades. It just so happens that as I write this story, I have no idea where I am going to college and I have a crippling fear of getting rescinded — so yes, I am still struggling. Every night when I’m trying my hardest to relax, intrusive thoughts of pending doom usually win and I start questioning my life decisions instead of getting some much-needed rest.

In my annual doctor’s check-up, my mom never fails to point out how I don’t sleep, because she somehow has super-sonar hearing and can hear me tossing and turning in bed. She’s also aware of my daily 3 a.m. bathroom runs and accompanying extra loud toilet flushes. 

My doctor offers the same solution every time: meditation. Maybe it’s my fault for not properly trying this, and considering how long my insomnia problem has lasted, it’s probably time to start. I also have a pack of magnesium powder I’m supposed to take an hour before bed every day, but I’m honestly not sure where I put it, so that’s out of the question. 

Either way, I’m feeling like my insomnia might follow me for the rest of my life. Still, considering the many other trials I’ve endured in high school (fake friends, incessant gossipers, immature boys and much more), I’m hopeful that a miracle solution is out there for me somewhere; I just need to find it. 

Meanwhile, I have this to say to my future roommate: You’re welcome in advance, because you will never have to worry about hearing me snore or sleeping past my alarm.