“Oh my god, I’m gonna cry! My diamond earrings! It’s not funny, that’s literally $75,000!”

We couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Kim Kardashian’s whiny voice. Her then-boyfriend basketball player Kris Humphries had thrown her into a pool, and somehow her diamond earrings had fallen off.

If we were Kardashian, we would probably cry too. At the same time, we would never be vain enough to wear anything worth even close to $75,000 near any body of water. Also, we could never afford anything close to that price. 

Twenty minutes earlier, we prepared some microwaveable popcorn and two Cokes and plopped down on Kevin’s couch to begin our first episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” 

The show airs on E!, a cable channel owned by NBCUniversal. Since Kevin doesn’t watch much television, we realized we didn’t even have that cable channel. 

Instead we went to Prime Video, an on demand service that is developed and owned by Amazon. On Prime Video, we could select which episodes we wanted to buy.

There were way too many seasons and episodes (17 and 247 respectively) to watch, so we decided to Google the most popular ones and start there. 

Season 6 Episode 12 is where we began. Titled “Trouble in Paradise,” the episode took us through the Kardashian’s trip in Bora Bora. The whole episode is them complaining about how miserable their lives are because of their relationship issues. They complain so much, it’s like they don’t even realize they’re in beautiful Bora Bora using $100 bills as tissue paper. 

The highlight of the show, and probably why it’s so popular, is Kim Kardashian’s “ugly cry.”

After she loses her earrings — that we repeat, are worth $75,000 — her smile immediately disappears, and her face contorts as she begins to cry. 

We both saw Humphries’ face when this happened, and we laughed even harder because his smile disappeared, replaced with an “Oh my God, I’ve messed up horribly” look.

We stopped watching after this one episode. It wasn’t really enjoyable. It was funny because of how silly the Kardashians acted, but it almost felt like we were invading their household and meddling in their personal business. 

In addition, none of it was relatable. All their problems were stupid, and they cried over nothing. 

Perhaps pretending to live in a fantasy world in which you can afford earrings worth a luxury car is a great way to escape the monotony of daily life. For us, it was ridiculous. 

In our opinion, the show is at best, a great way to learn about plastic surgery, binge drinking, excessive whining and rampant materialism. We give it a generous 0.75/5.