Opinion

Following large budget cuts made by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to cope with the devastating state budget crisis, the University of California (UC) system has incurred a budget deficit of nearly $450 million. As a result, UC authorities have announced plans to cut enrollment for at least seven of its 10 campuses and hike tuition by 10 percent.

Dear adolescent girls of America,

Contrary to popular belief, your self-worth is not based in the label splayed across your overpriced neon pink tracksuit that’s made of the same material as what I dry myself off with after a shower. Also, nobody can tell if the “Merry Berry” lip gloss you’re wearing is M.A.C or Smackers. Furthermore, the purpose of make-up is to conceal flaws and enhance features – so it is not in any way necessary, or complementary, for you to be wearing four layers of foundation and concealer, topped with bronzer and blush when your skin is still flawlessly smooth and pimple-free.

If legislation proposed by Democratic assemblyman Tom Ammiano of San Francisco is signed into law, any Californian over 21 would be able to legally purchase, and be taxed for, marijuana from specialized vendors.

America would surely be a very different place if Barack Obama had run for president of the PTA instead of for the presidency. After all, winning over minivan-driving, Blackberry-wielding mothers is usually a tad easier than capturing the hearts of Americans across the nation. In fact, the world would be a distinctly different place if everyone followed that kind of lead—doing things and going places simply in the interest of expediency.

Similarly, Hillary Clinton, our newly minted secretary of state, decided to dig her hole to China and address the public there about what her aims were going to be during her term. That was commendable of her, since the U.S.’s cordial relationship with the Chinese is the only thing that’s keeping America afloat in its recent economic flood. Clinton’s plans did not stop there, however, and she soon had her audience double-taking as she bluntly told everyone that she would be focusing her time and effort on the looming threat of global warming while unceremoniously pushing the hot and extremely controversial topic of China’s human rights violations to the backseat. It wouldn’t be surprising if Obama at this point had punted his hypo-allergenic dog out of the window in frustration.

Video games cause violence.

Video games cause the stunting of brain growth.

Video games cause obesity.

It seems that video games are causing an apocalypse, and according to anti-video-game activists, gamers are wasting their time and money.

Forget the back alleys and tinted cars, the biggest drug deals today happen in cozy cafés as jazz music streams through the speakers over the grind of coffee beans. The regular customers defy the stereotypes as well—soccer moms, high school students and business people on their way to work line up for their drug of choice. Throughout the country, hundreds of thousands of law-abiding citizens are physically addicted to it. Welcome to the biggest drug dealer in town—Starbucks.

As part of a high-achieving academic environment, Saratoga High students find the thought of a fellow classmate not knowing the political party of our president unfathomable. The recent ground-breaking and historical election aside, however, it wouldn’t have been too difficult to find a student who was ignorant of the political affiliation of our former president George Bush.

With the economy collapsing around us and companies announcing new layoffs daily, it seems like knowledge of why such events are occurring should be ingrained into our curriculum. After all, these are the issues that will be affecting us on a daily basis when we graduate into the real world, often much more so than AP European History or AP Calculus.

Both economics and U.S. government are required classes needed to graduate, yet even though they are apparently important enough to be considered essential before we attend college, they’re restricted to a mere 18 weeks each in senior year. Is that enough?

There have been a lot of outbreaks recently. The peanut butter salmonella crisis. SARS, Mad Cow Disease, and something about spinach and tomatoes. OK, so those weren’t recent, but we were too lazy to think of actual recent ones because signs of an annual outbreak have reappeared at Saratoga. There are some who call this outbreak “Senioritis,” but we prefer to call it the “much-deserved-brain-vacation-itis.”

Imagine being able to save an entire year of college tuition, savings that could add up to over $40,000. With a three-year college program, students can complete their degree in just three years, while still leaving summers free for internships and job opportunities. Despite these seemingly limitless benefits, however, securing a degree after only three years of college is detrimental to undergraduate study.

Nadya Suleman is the mother to six children. Suleman is jobless. She has no husband. She relies on food stamps and disability payments to support her family. She lives in her bankrupt mother’s three-bedroom home that’s in pre-foreclosure. And oh yeah, Suleman just gave birth to octuplets, bringing her total number of children to 14.