Why being single is amazing

As a disclaimer, throughout all four years of my high school career I’ve been 100 percent single, so my viewpoint is absolutely biased. I’m also a little salty because nobody wants to be with me. Whatever. 

That being said, here are the top reasons. 

1. You’re probably going to break up. 

Reality is harsh, but I’m not here to sugarcoat things. As much as you might think you love your significant other, it takes maturity to have a successful long-term relationship. If your relationship lasts through senior year, when you almost inevitably part ways to go to college, you’ll probably break up. I’m not saying it’s a guarantee, but statistically speaking, it’s really likely the relationship is doomed to die. 

2. Straighten out your priorities.

Academics are hard, especially at a school like this. To succeed, you have to maintain a high GPA, get a good SAT/ACT score and do hours of volunteering in order to build a solid resume. You have to make a choice: either date somebody in high school or focus on your academics and extracurriculars. A significant other lasts a year or two if you’re lucky, but where you go to collect and your career success is forever. 

As philosopher and street poet Drizzy Drake once said, “I know that first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.” Arguments and breakups can consume your mind and fill you up with emotions, and when you start “simping,” you’re going to be distracted from your APUSH readings. Then you’ll get a bad score on the long essay question, and then you’ll get a B in the class. Is it really worth being a disappointment to your family to be in a relationship? No. Exactly. 

3. Do you want a relationship or a cuddle buddy?

Those long nights reading “Grapes of Wrath” can be a pain in the butt, and the book would be so much more enjoyable if you could just cuddle up with somebody and read together. But a successful relationship isn’t just cuddling. It’s about working as a team and supporting each other when things aren’t going well. That takes time and commitment. So ask yourself, are you ready for that kind of commitment, or do you just want a cuddle buddy? If it’s the latter, then go buy a big teddy bear. Teddy bears will cuddle with you even if you don’t shower. 

4. You’re going to save money. 

This one is especially true for all my fellas out there. You want to try your best to impress the girl of your dreams, so you take her out on a nice date. Next thing you know, you’ve spent all of your money, and now the only lunch you can afford is Taco Bell. 

In addition, you’ll probably have to buy your significant other some nice Valentine’s Day gifts. And Christmas gifts. And birthday gifts. It’s all about return on investment, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather invest in gifts for myself.  

5. You get to spend your time how you want.

Sometimes, you want some alone time to chill in your PJ’s and watch Netflix while eating a tub of ice cream. In fact, that’s probably all the time. But if bae wants to go get dinner, then you have to go shower, put on some nice deodorant (let’s face it, nobody can afford cologne) and dress nice. 

If you’re in a relationship, you’ll also spend most of your free time with your significant other. If you’re single, you’ll spend time with your friends. And now that I’m a second semester senior and have nothing to do all day, I’ve been making more friends. I’ve met so many amazing people at this school who have given me new perspectives on life. 

6. You’re going to see your ex in the halls

Face it: Our high school is tiny. It’s inevitable that you’re going to see your ex in the halls. Undoubtedly, you’ll be faced with the awkward dilemma of saying hi or completely ignoring them. Whichever one you choose, it’ll be cringy. The easiest way to avoid the awkwardness of seeing your ex in the halls is to never date anybody in the first place. 

Nevertheless, if you’re in a happy relationship, I wish you all the best. I truly hope it does work out and that your love does last forever or at least until a time when it makes sense to break up on good terms. Seeing happy couples does inspire some degree of hope among diehard singles like me.

To all my fellow singles: Hmu if you need a cuddle buddy.