Dorey Schranz

Baby, it’s cold outside. Thus goes a classic Dean Martin holiday duet. In its very innocently tongue-in-cheek mid 20th century style it basically (and I’m paraphrasing here) is the man telling his female friend at his apartment that she shouldn’t go home, even though she knows she should. His reasoning? Well, it’s cold outside. She decides to stay and I think it can probably be assumed he takes advantage of her. Men. Even Mother Nature is working in their favor.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her. I have probably heard this joke about twenty times, and I still do not find it at all relevant.

Ever since MTV’s new reality show The Paper debuted this April, I’ve become quite disenchanted with our own school newspaper. For anyone who has been living under a rock and happened to miss the first few episodes (which have only been playing 24-7 since the series premiered), the show chronicles the lives of the editors of The Circuit, the school newspaper of Cypress Bay High School in Florida.

It’s that time of the year again. The weather warms up and everyone heads to the beach to lie in sun, returning a nice shade of tan. Oh, except me. When I go to lie in the sun, I bring my Costco industrial-sized jug of 50 spf sunscreen and prepare to blend in with the white sand beaches, destined to return the same shade of fluorescent white I was when I left.

Most people don’t have someone they barely know scream “I love you” in an obscure foreign language at them every day. Apparently, I’m not most people.