Reporter tries Fortnite, gets transported to alternate universe

I apologize in advance to any hardcore Fortniters I accidentally offend with my lack of knowledge over the course of this piece.

It’s safe to say that shooter games aren’t really my cup of tea. You’re much more likely to find me playing Mario World than Modern Warfare.

So, when I was told to play a type of games that I normally wouldn’t, I knew I had to play a shooter game. And, of course, what better shooter game to play than the wildly popular (and wildly annoying, if you ask my twelve-year-old sister) Fortnite?

So, after downloading the game onto my Nintendo Switch and dismissing a seemingly unimportant popup message about an unstable cube, I booted it up and ran into my first roadblock: naming my account.

Remember how I mentioned this game is wildly popular? Well, that means that literally every name I could think of was taken. I eventually just gave up and typed in some random gibberish.

Good luck finding someone who’s taken the name “gwth4sgysjgfga5.”

Anyway, after trying and failing to change the look of my character to something other than the default, I joined a game of Battle Royale, where 100 players fight to be the last one standing.

My first game didn’t go so well. After falling from the sky onto a primarily grassy island, I just started walking around the map trying to find a weapon (I decided that the pickaxe I was given would not do.). Eventually, I found a small town-like place.

There, I found a weapon (at last!), only to also find a glowing purple box that was generating some sort of zombies. One of them then killed me.

I went back to the menu screen and joined my second game. This is where things got strange.

After waiting around in a lobby for a little bit, I was sent on to the battle bus and paraglided into a house, where I was able to find a gun in what appeared to be a kid’s bedroom. (These parents REALLY need to keep a better eye on their kid.)

I ran around the map for a bit more, and eventually I found a package of balloons. I laughed nervously, wondering how bringing a balloon to a gun fight would help my case.

However, when I inflated one, I found it would let me jump higher and float on the way down, which was actually a lot more fun than it should have been.

After I balloon jumped around for a few minutes, my sister, who was watching me play, insisted that I build some sort of base.

So I built a house out of four walls and a pyramid.

After poking fun at my amazing design choices, she pointed out a loud noise coming from the game.

I busted my way out of my house (which had no door) and noticed a big spinning cube in the sky, which promptly exploded.

And that was where everything whited out.

My character awoke floating in a glowing alternate universe, and it seemed every player on the map was there too.

After I floated around a bit, a butterfly landed on my character’s finger, and I was suddenly falling from the sky again.

Then, somebody sniped me, ending my game.

Ultimately, I’d say Fortnite is somewhat of a fun time. There’s really nothing special about it, but I’m pretty sure you get warped to an alternate universe if you survive long enough, which is really cool. Also, the balloons are fun to use, and I recommend you go out of your way to include them in your arsenal.

Despite all of this, I don’t think I’ll be anxious to return to being “gwth4sgysjgfga5” anytime soon.