If you think mixing sodas is weird, you’re missing out

My love for mixing sodas at the soda machine started with an empty cup. I had my heart set on Coca Cola, but it ran out mid-pour and I was left with a cup half empty … or half full, if you’re feeling optimistic. 

Reluctantly, I filled the rest of the cup with root beer — the next best thing. Little did I know that this simple half-half creation would send me off on a lifelong journey of questionable soda combinations. 

My favorite base soda to start off a combination with is a classic Diet Coke. It carries a mellow flavor, and topping off Coke with 10% of any flavorful, diabetes-inducing drink like Dr. Pepper or Orange Fanta turns the relatively bland Coke into unicorns and rainbows in my mouth. 

Pro tip: Go easy on the Dr. Pepper; it can easily overpower other flavors. My advice? 20% Dr. Pepper max in any drink. Try 45% Coke, 45% Sprite and 10% Dr. Pepper — I promise you won’t regret it. Or try what I call “Sproke”: a ratio of 2/3 Coke to 1/3 Sprite. 

When I mix sodas, the world is my oyster: I can imitate the taste of Smarties (80% root beer, 20% Dr. Pepper), Orange Creamsicle (70% Orange Fanta, 30% Barq’s Root Beer) or whatever else my imagination desires. 

On the sour side, I guess normal people don’t consider it a sin to mix the lemonades (Arnold Palmer, anyone?). My In-N-Out go-to would be 2/3 pink lemonade and 1/3 lemon lime soda with a lemon slice, but the real deal is pink lemonade combined with Blue Raspberry Powerade.

My drinks typically turn out as an ugly brown color, but that’s OK because the opaque lid covers the swamp inside. And it’s not like I’m ashamed — I’m always proud to show my creations to whoever asks. 

If anyone is looking to hire a barista for mixing sodas, I’d be more than happy to stand at the soda machine, ready to serve my top-secret soda combinations. 

Mixing isn’t just a practice; it’s a lifestyle. The next stop: mixing cereals. You’ll catch me pouring 25% Frosted Flakes, 50% corn flakes and 25% Rice Krispies into my milk bowl. That’s right, I pour milk (still testing out the best ratios of soy milk, dairy milk, and oak milk) in the bowl before cereal, too — I’m a monster.