Confused about life? I’ve got some great advice

March 27, 2019 — by Muthu Palaniappan

Senior responds to dilemmas submitted on SHS Confessions from students.

Being an AP Lang student, I have recently finished our ethics unit. Throughout the unit, my classmates and I, imitating the New York Times Magazine’s Ethicist advice column, thought long and hard about various ethical dilemmas and tried to choose the best course of action in each one. Inspired by the Ethicist,I have decided to offer some advice to students who have submitted posts via the SHS Confessions Facebook page. None of these dilemmas are deal with ethics, but it’s clear that all of the question writers need some good advice.

 

#2227: "I have never had a good sense of fashion. Before transferring to an public elementary school in Saratoga, I went to a private school with a uniform. I have never thought of dressing more fashionably before, but now I want to expand my wardrobe. Problem is, I have been dressing the same way for the past five years so I'm afraid that if I suddenly change now, people would judge me for it. When I buy clothes different from what I'm used to wearing, I wear them at home with no problem, but I get embarrassed going to school in them, so I end up wearing the same old stuff anyway. "

When it comes to fashion, I realize how hard it is to go out of your comfort zone. Especially at school, it is easy to feel like people are staring at what you are wearing and judging you. However, when you really think about it, do you regularly judge people if they are wearing something out of their comfort zone?

I don’t think many people do. If anything, the only reason you would comment on someone’s clothing is to compliment it. Speaking from my point of view, I only notice outfits and care to think about them when I like what the person is wearing. So, I think you should try to wear your new clothes to school, but it is easier said than done. Maybe try wearing a new outfit for only one day of the week at first so you can test the waters. And if you think people are staring, it’s probably because they like your new outfit!

 

#2185: "I’m a senior, and for the past two years, all my friends talk about is guys, and it gets to the point where our only conversations are about boys. One of my friends has liked about six guys so far, none successful, and she keeps talking about them. How do I tell them that their lives should not be dominated by guys, and that they should find other things to talk about? "

This one is very relatable; I think we all have one friend who gets really caught up on their crushes. Whenever I find myself in a conversation like the one you described, I try to find a way out of it. It sounds kind of cold to just leave a conversation, but if you aren’t contributing to it or you aren’t engaged by it, why are you wasting your time talking about guys? I don’t think it’s in your place to tell your friends to change their topic of conversation, but I think that it’s perfectly fine for you to distance yourself from them when you hear them start talking about it. If they find it enjoyable to talk about crushes and guys 24/7, let them be. You, on the other hand, should find another person to converse with, perhaps about something you find interesting. Not everyone is guy-obsessed, so I am sure you will find a great person to talk to!

 

#1283: "I'm really stressed out and I don’t know how to cope with this. I need to sleep. I'm so tired but I can't sleep because then I will fail my classes, so what do I do"

I think this one hits close to home for a lot of students. One thing I figured out in my junior year was that the only reason homework seemed to take so long was that I wasn’t being efficient. Whether it be looking at my Instagram feed every two minutes or not understanding what I was even doing on my homework assignments, I found that I was not working intelligently. In terms of distractions, my phone or laptop are the worst. Whenever I have to do my homework, I turn on music and put my phone on the other side of my desk. I also disable notifications from my phone, so it never buzzes or dings. Another thing I started to do was to work outside of home.

I always go to a coffee shop to do my homework, and I find that I am most efficient there. For some reason, I pick up my phone and get distracted less when I’m in an environment where everyone else is being productive.

Also, I think it’s really important that you understand what you are actually doing on your homework assignments. For instance, if you are doing math homework, read through your notes once before starting your homework. If you know how to do the problems correctly, it will give you a small confidence boost and I assure you that you will finish your homework faster. All in all, it feels like the homework load is really heavy, but if you use your time efficiently, you will be able to get some sleep at night.

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