Boba is the superior drink that deserves its fans

October 22, 2020 — by Atrey Desai

This time of extreme stress, a nice boba drink is a perfect way to relax.

After running out of things to cancel, haters have turned to boba. Look, I get it if you want to cancel Kanye or Chick-fil-A, but I draw the line at boba. This drink isn’t your run-of-the-mill beverage: It's a god-tier elixir with an assortment of flavors, toppings and colors guaranteed to leave drinkers satisfied.

Of course, the milk tea itself is cool, refreshing and perfectly flavored. More important, however, are the endless assortment of toppings that I never get tired of experimenting with. Want a lighter drink? Get a tea base without milk in it like jasmine tea. Want something chewier? There are hundreds of toppings ranging from lychee jelly to red beans that you can mix and match in every drink. For extra flair, get popping boba: I love the squishy outsides with the satisfying pop when you chew them. 

If you’re still not impressed, compare boba to other popular drinks: Literally, the only things you can change in Starbucks frappuccinos are the caffeine level and the syrup base.

Perhaps all those toppings seem unhealthy, but who cares that boba might not be the greatest for you? Where’s the fun in life if we had to eat healthy stuff all the time? I don’t want to eat salads and superfoods all the time, and I would gladly tick a few years off my life in order to enjoy the rest of them. 

Now you might be saying, even if boba were so delicious, why would you go out during quarantine to have it? First off, it would take a lot more than a pandemic to stop me from buying boba, and second, there are approximately zero health risks if you take precautions.

Boba shops have strict health codes, minimizing the risk of covid transmission. I recently went to a Teaspoon location myself and I was pleasantly surprised to see that not only were masks required, but everyone needed to maintain 6-feet distance from one another outside the door. Inside the shop, there was a massive plexiglass screen, shielding the employers from customers picking up their to-go.

There isn’t anything wrong with this picture: If people are tired of staying in their houses for months and need to go outside, what’s wrong with safely buying boba? It’s a perfect, delicious reprieve from the monotony and stress of quarantine.

Now, when boba haters are forced to concede that buying boba is in fact worth it, they always go for the “It has become an Asian Stereotype” argument. I’m going to be honest with you, I'm fine with being associated with the best drink in the universe. All stereotypes that exist are rooted in the truth; it's true we Asians in Silicon Valley love boba. If people want to stereotype us for it, they can go ahead. They aren’t wrong, and if they aren’t in on the stereotype, they are really missing out.

To boba connoisseurs out there: Haters gonna hate. But that isn’t stopping me from getting my next drink.